Managing Editor | TV/Movie Editor | @ethnicninja on TwitterAnd then there were two (?)…
This recap obviously contains spoilers from Season 6 Episode 5.
Sansa be making clothes – I guess what else are you going to do at the Wall while you wait for an action plan. A brother of the Night’s Watch brings her a note with the Arryn sigil on it; it’s a note from Petyr asking her to meet him in Mole’s Town. Sansa meets him there but not alone; she has Brienne with her. Petyr seems to think that Sansa would be overjoyed and thankful to know that he has come to her aid but Sansa is pissed, because she knows Petyr knew at least a little about Ramsay’s proclivity for cruelty and he still approved their marriage. She makes Petyr think about what Ramsay did to her and tells him that she can still feel what he did to her because she is still in physical pain as a result of it. She doesn’t need him anymore and she doesn’t need his help. She could have Brienne kill him then and there if she wanted. Petyr is willing to do whatever he can in his power for her, even give up his life (yeah, okay). Before he leaves, he informs her that Brynden Blackfish, Catelyn’s uncle, has taken Riverrun back and that she should seek him out because she will need an army eventually. When she retorts that she has an army, Petyr points out that the army is Jon’s army – her half-brother.
Arya and the Waif are still practicing fighting. The Waif doesn’t think she’s ready yet but Arya keeps trying to fight. The Waif is like “u lookin’ for a propa fight, m8?”, throws her stick down, just straight fights Arya with her bare hands, and still wins! She tells Arya that Arya will never be one of them and calls her Lady Stark. Jaqen says the Waif might be right and leads Arya to the room of faces. He tells her the story of the first Faceless Men, who were slaves in Valyria. The Many Faced God taught the first Faceless Man was taught how to shed his face and give the gift, and that man taught others. The Faceless Men fled Valyria and founded Braavos and built the House of Black and White. The first Faceless Men’s faces hang in the room of faces and Arya can be one of them if she desires. Arya is like “bro, I know what you’re doing – a girl has no desires.” So Jaqen gives her a vial of poison, which means she has a new target – an actress by the name of Lady Crane. This is Arya’s 2nd chance and there will not be a 3rd – one way or another, a face will be added to the hall.
Arya goes to watch the play in which Lady Crane appears as Cersei – the play seems to amuse Arya until the character of Ned comes up, portrayed as being dimwitted and power hungry (it also portrays Tyrion as having masterminded the whole thing). Arya is not into the play after that. She goes backstage after the play and kind of just loiters, trying to find out info about Lady Crane. (How about that warty uncircumcised penis? Ladies, never complain about there not being dicks in the show, because apparently this is what we get by complaining.) She finds out that Lady Crane is the better actress and that she is pregnant. Arya goes back to Jaqen and tells him of her plan to poison Lady Crane’s rum, which only she drinks. She is curious to know whether the younger actress is the one who paid to have Lady Crane’s life taken, and questions killing a person who seems like a decent human being. Jaqen reminds her that as a servant of the Many Faced God, she is not in the position to ask questions.
Bran and the Three Eyed Raven are visioning again, beyond the Wall, watching the Children of the Forest stab a dude tied to a tree. But they don’t really stab him – they insert a Dragonglass dagger inside the dude’s chest, which turns the dude’s eyes blue. Bran is startled awake and confronts the Children about creating the White Walkers. Leaf, one of the Children, tells him that they were at war with the First Men, being slaughtered and desperate – they created the White Walkers to defend themselves from the Men.
They are holding the King’s Moot at Pyke and Yara/Asha steps forward to claim the salt throne. She makes a speech about leading the Iron Islands into building the biggest fleet of ships and making a mark on the world. People aren’t into having a Queen, so Theon is prodded forward to claim the throne, but instead he speaks out in support of his sister. People seem to be on board but Euron Greyjoy shows up and claims the salt throne. When Yara accuses him of murdering Balon, he goes “yeah I did it. He was a terrible king and was leading us nowhere. I should’ve killed him earlier.” He set his plans in front of the Ironborn to bring glory back to the Iron Islands: he’s going to build a massive fleet, sail to Meereen, where he will woo Dany into marrying him, bring her and her dragons to Westeros, and conquer the Seven Kingdoms. The Ironborn are totally into this plan and he is declared king. While he is being baptized in the sea by Aeron Greyjoy, Theon, Yara, and their men steal away into the best ships and flee the Iron Islands. After being baptized, Euron is crowned king with a driftwood crown, and he vows to build a fleet of ships to go after and kill Theon and Yara. Good family reunion.
Jorah finally tells Dany that he loves her annnnnnd he has greyscale. He tries to take his leave but Dany is not having that – she commands him to travel throughout the lands and find a fucking cure for his dang disease. Easy peasy. Together with the Dothraki and Daario, Dany sets off back to Meereen.
In Meereen, they’re seeing the results of their peace accord with the Masters but Tyrion thinks they should do more. The Sons of the Harpy had a compelling story to captivate the population and persuade them into helping with their “cause”. Well, they need a better story for Dany – sure she freed the slaves but the people now need to know that she is providing them with safety and security. To do this, they need good storytellers. Enter Kinvara, High Priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis. Tyrion wants her to help spread the word about Dany and Kinvara is totally on board because she believes that Dany is the Prince that was Promised. Tyrion is thankful but Varys has had terrible experience with people who practice magic, so he’s skeptical about the Red Priestess. He questions her about the other Red Priestess (Melisandre) who declared Stannis as the Prince that was Promised. Kinvara stays calm and says that everything is the Lord’s Will, but that doesn’t mean that men and women can’t make mistakes, as did Melisandre with Stannis. She then reveals to Varys that she knows what was done to him and by whom, and can also tell him the words uttered by the voice in the flames and tell him who spoke them. Varys is unnerved and stops questioning her. She takes her leave, promising that they can trust her because they serve the same Queen.
Bran is bored and tries to awaken the Three Eyed Raven, but he keeps snoozing. So, like a petulant teen, he scoots over and wargs into the tree by himself, something he’s not supposed to do. WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE THINGS ALONE BRAN? He sees an army of the wights and starts walking through them. At the end of the army, he sees four White Walkers on horses, including the Night’s King, who can FUCKING SEE BRAN. Bran gets freaked out turns around to see that the army is now turned around to face him and can also see him. Bran, in his flustered and scared state, turns around to find the Night’s King right behind him and he grabs at his arm. Bran leaves the vision and is back in the cave. He tells the Three Eyed Raven what happened and he asks Bran if the Night’s King touched him. Yup, Bran has marks on his arm from where the Night’s King grabbed him. The Three Eyed Raven is like “you gotsa get out of here because they are coming for you.” Turns out, because Bran has the mark of the Night’s King, they can find him and the protections of the cave will not work to keep them out. GODDAMN IT BRAN. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LOOK? The Three Eyed Raven for Bran to become him even though he’s not ready, and takes him into another vision.
At the Wall, Jon and Co. are strategizing about how to bring their numbers up. The Umbers and the Karstarks have declared for the Boltons, but the Manderlys are still up for grabs. Sansa tries to school Davos on the people of the North but her speech about the Notherners being loyal seems a little naive – she expects people to risk their life and limb for her family. Davos doesn’t know the North but knows men – when it comes down to it, each man wants to protect their own family. Jon recommends trying to rally the small houses; if they get the smaller houses on their side, the number would equal that of the bigger houses. Sansa insists that the North will rise again to defend the Starks, and even though Jon is not a Stark, he is still as much a son of Ned as Ramsay was of Roose. They also have her – she actually has the Stark name. She lies and tells them that Ramsay got a raven before she left, saying the Tullys had raised and army and taken back Riverrun. She has gotten pretty good at lying now. The rest are heartened by this news and make preparations to leave the Wall. Sansa is sending Brienne to Riverrun to speak with Brynden and Brienne does not want to leave Sansa. Sansa says she trusts Jon and Brienne asks why she lied to him if she trusts him. They’re getting ready to leave and Sansa has on a new dress and coat with the Stark sigil on them. She has also made one for Jon, modeled after the cloak Ned used to wear. Edd is now the Lord Commander of the Wall, which he realizes after Jon leaves. Also, how into Brienne is Tormund? I want this relationship to happen plz. I need it in my life, especially after the sadness that is coming.
Meera is preparing to leave with Hodor and Bran, talking to Hodor about all the food they’re going to eat when she realizes that they can see their breaths. She runs to the mouth of the cave, where the Children are standing, and sees the army of the Wights. Leaf tells her to get Bran and run, while the Children throw their firebomb things at the wights. They make a semi circle of fire at the entrance of the cave but that does not deter the White Walkers. They walk on in while the wights climb up to the tree and try to burrow down to the cave. Meera tries to wake Bran up but to no avail. Bran and the Three Eyed Raven are watching young Ned leaving Winterfell for the Vale. The wights start attacking inside the cave; Meera and the Children try to fight them off while Hodor is too scared to fight. Meera yells for Bran to warg into Hodor, which he hears inside the vision and the Three Eyed Raven tells him to do as Meera asks. In doing so, he wargs into Hodor in the past (the vision) and in the present (in the cave). Hodor picks up Bran and starts making his way to the exit. Summer stays back to hold off the Wights but is killed in the process. RIP Summer.
The Night’s King approaches the Three Eyed Raven who is still warged into the vision with Bran. In the vision, he tells Bran that he has to leave. The Night’s King kills the Three Eyed Raven and he shatters and blows away in the vision. Leaf sacrifices herself to give them some more time also, blowing herself up along with some wights. When they get to the door, Hodor pushes the door open and they make it outside with just enough time for them to push the door shut. However, the door can’t be shut all the way and Hodor has to hold the door closed. Meera pushes Bran away while calling back to Hodor to “hold the door”. In the vision, Barn hears Meera say “hold the door” and realizes that the Hodor in his vision can see him. Young Hodor starts seizing and starts saying “hold the door” which eventually becomes “Hodor”. Bran realizes his warging into Hodor in the past as well as the present is what created Hodor. In the present, Hodor holds the door, giving enough time for Meera and Bran to get away. RIP Hodor, you happy and gentle man.
Next week: Blood of My Blood