Episode 149 - Battle Plans

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Part Daisy, part drider, all frightening...

"You know what they always say, 'If you give a mouse a titty burrito, he's gonna want a beer.' It is well known." ~ Aludra the Dwarf

"Guys, bear with me here. We put one of these blue-tooths on one of the arrows from the siege crossbow, we get in there, we get to Fennekin, and I'm assuming that teleportation in this world works like Portal rules, where, like there's conservation of momentum. So we fire that thing, as its sailing through the air, we pull it out of our ears, teleporting the arrow to us and then it just goes right through Fennekin, and then we win. I rolled a 2, does that work?" ~ Thom the Dragonborn


Episode 149 - Battle Plans

Well it is finally time. Time to take the fight directly to Fenniken and his weird fortress. We may not be ready, but we must strike while the iron is hot. While we have the backing of a metal as heck devil army. We will stop this demon apocalypse or die trying. One of us especially will die. Still haven’t figured out a way to swing the Hammer of Sundering without losing one of us…

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters




Long Story

Everyone is there at Shadowspar Keep, all thier friends. Adira has her lieutenants with her, the tuxedo devil serving everyone is named Hordack, the big smelly devil is Captain Drox, and of course, there's Artixus. Aidra has over 1,000 demons at their disposal. Wiggins the mouse is going crazy here, pulling at shoelaces and such. Thom uses his talking to animal ritual to talk to him, and finds out that he wants more of Aludra's burritos. She agrees, so she does that. Adira speaks with them, thanking them for taking out the Army of Bahamut, and telling them that the army of demons is theirs to control, and also that she can't remove Aludra and Thom's brain bombs, because she still wants them to close the portal. General Drox wants to speak with them, and tells them that they have acquired sketches of the layout of Fennekin's Fortress, which he shows them. There is a giant circular hole, about a half mile wide, with a comparatively small egg in the center of it. They tell him that they know a girl who can teleport them into the Fortress. After mentioning her name, Drox tells them the White Dome has been destroyed, overrun by demons, and Avery T'léas is presumed dead.

Drox tells them that they have 1000 devils at their disposal, broken down into 4 basic types: There is the ground troops, which are slow, but strong. There is the ranged group, spellcasters and archer, etc, who can do a lot of damage, but are weak to getting hits. There is the heavy mounted cavalry, that fly on hell-beasts, they are fast. Finally, there is a giant siege engine, that can hopefully puncture a hole in the side of the Fortress, with a range of just over a quarter mile. Each type (minus the siege engine) has some type of flying capabilities. He explains that the Fortress exists half in the Prime Material Plane, and the other half in the Abyss. There is a large hole in the bottom, which will probably generate a large number of scary mean demons. He then tells them of the most important bit, that they have four pieces of equipment... There are four, 5-inch long worm looking things, that will allow them to communicate with each other over distances of up to a mile. Also, once they remove the worm from their ear, the other three wearers will be instantly transported right to that person. Also, this kills all the worms.

He tells them that Ros brought their griffons, so they can fly in on them, of course. They have, they think, two options. They could either fly in all together, and attack as one force, or split up, and each of them lead a separate force of the devil army. They are also warned that they will be trapped in the Abyss forever if the portal closes and they're on the wrong side of it. Aludra suggests that someone stay with the siege towers on the outside of the Abyss to teleport the rest out once the portal is closed. Jaela suggest breaking them into two factions, to flank the enemy. Drox brings up an interesting point: since one of them isn't going to make it out anyway, then not all four of them necessarily need to have the ear worms in, and maybe they could give the fourth to someone outside, like Bucky or whatever. That means they will have to decide before they go in who will sacrifice themselves.

They divide up the regiments, since they have decided to split up. Harper will take either the siege or the ranged dudes. Then they decide to mix the groups. They get once again hung up on the fact that one of them won't make it out alive, and talk over their options again. Thom calls Bucky over, and nearly makes him do it, but is stopped by the rest of them. So they still don't know who will die.


At Shadowspar Keep, they deliberate on their plans for the impending battle. Avery T'léas can no longer teleport them, as she has probably been killed. They are given 1,000 troops, divided into four categories, ground troops, ranged attacks, mounted cavalry, and the siege engines, which can't fly, but can reach Fennekin's Fortress from the edge of the abyss. Also, there is a giant crater surrounding the Fortress. They almost decide to split up and each take one of the regiments, but god help them if they ever finish making plans. They end the episode still unsure of who is going to sacrifice themselves.


Inventory Updates

  • +4 ear worms
  • +1,000 demons to the party

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Bachmann - 19
    • Jennifer - 17
    • Tim - 8
    • Nika - 8

  • Harper rolls Persuasion to get Adira to remove Aludra and Thom's brain bombs - 16
    • Fail - She can't do that

  • Thom does Intimidation to do the same thing - 16
    • Fail

  • Jaela rolls Persuasion to see if she could take on Adira - 25
    • She looks like she's very formidable

  • Thom rolls to try to attach one of the teleporting worms to an arrow and fire it, and then go meet Fennekin, and then take his worm out, teleporting the arrow to him and killing Fennekin - 2
    • That doesn't work for some reason.