Episode 163 - Welcome to Deephome

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King Titus Harper and his son Thom Harper
"And accidentally, you know on a dare... my buddy says, he says, 'Hey!' He says, 'Go on over there. And open up a portal. And we'll get a whole bunch of demons in here. It'll be a fucking lit.' And I said, 'Watch me,' and I went and I opened up a portal and all the demons came out. And it was insane! You should have been there!" ~ Jett Razor


Episode 163 - Welcome to Deephome

The party opens up the cocoons left by the drider to find a mass of baby spiders, Kipper's wife Janine, and the murderer of Baldur. Bachmann makes a ridiculous Performance check, Nika asks for clarification on how to do non-lethal damage because she doesn't do that, Jennifer actually rolls some Natural 20s, Tim feels tricked regarding a dagger, and Thrifty is, "My Sorry."

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Jett Razor gets up, seemingly okay after Jaela used Lay on Hands to cure him from the poison dart, and exclaims, "Shit was wicked, mate." Drugs aren't a stranger to him. But no one with Harper's party, nor Slab Spittlechunk nor anyone else from Deephome seem to have any idea about who the Jackal Mask Assassin might be. Nyx suggests the possibility that King Titus Harper was the real target since he was standing next to Jett. It seems a longshot that it might have been a minion of Longcryer, and probably not an agent of Pyre. If it's someone that wants to stop the wedding, they have no idea who it could be.

The Chum Guzzler disembarks from Calsten and there's plenty of time to get to know their new friend, Jett Razor. Harper asks him if it's true that he's, in Jett's terms, shagged the half-elf bard, Saylor Tift. He tells them he's never met her, but he has shagged a lot of birds. Both Nyx and Harper try to get clarification on what he means by birds, but the conversation doesn't further their understanding.

The Thursday before they arrive at Deephome, Harper invites a select few people into his cabin, including, Jaela, Nyx, Jett, Winston, and Timpleton, and breaks out some special brandy. Jett regales them with one shocking event after another. He tells them that it was he who caused the Demon Apocalypse, that he invented the special handshake that he saw Harper and Jaela do, and tells Winston that he could possibly be his dad since he's shagged so many birds in Arkensaw. Jett's antics cause Harper to pull everyone aside with deep concern that Jett might ruin this very special and important wedding between Aludra and Baldur Oakback. But the Harper still opens up to Jett and welcomes him to the inner circle and lets him in on the secret that they're going to sneak Jaela into Deephome, which then Jett immediately claims that sneaking people into Deephome specifically is what he's known for. A claim that no one even bothers to address. As for the Jaela issue, at first Harper thinks that Prestidigitizing her skin to remove her purple color would be a good enough disguise, but instead settles on using Seeming to make her look like his wife, Ashayara Dayne. And Harper briefs Jaela on important details she should know to pull off the deception.

After a week and a half on sea, Cooper informs his king that they've arrived. The Chum Guzzler sails through the dwarven archway that leads into the mountain range and the harbor inside. They are greeted by a procession of finely dressed dwarves, some of whom have clipboards and drawing of the face of Jaela. However, the disguise works and no one pays her any mind. Jett finds one of the greeters to be a huge fan of his, but proceeds to ignore him and laughs at the thought of wanting an autograph for free. Harper tells Jett that he'll pay for it, and after the guard faints while clutching the signed picture to his chest, Jett tells him that the name that Jett signed on it was Harpers. Garth Strongsteel is the main contact person, and tells Harper that they're waiting until all the guests have unloaded before the take off in the tram that will take them to Deephome underneath the mountain. The other notable parties are some strange snake looking people from the continent of Southra, a delegation from Yanghar, and some Nordic looking people from Norhall and Vanderweiss.

They all board the tram, Harper does a proper amount of mingling and enjoying refreshments, and exclaims at how impressive and how beautiful Deephome is when he first lays upon the city. When they exit the tram, they're greeted by various dwarven lords, and Harper graps tightly onto Jaela's shaking arm when Aludra comes into view.


  • Harper remember's inventing the special dabs one night while playing bingo with Jaela, he accidentally saw her vagina, and he wanted her to know it wasn't a big deal.
  • Thifty jokes that perhaps the chatroom is actually the voices that Jaela hears when her ancestors talk to her.
  • Harper has one ounce left of hellwasp honey and no more silverweed left.
  • Jaela still has 50 pounds of hellwasp honey, but only a little bit of silverweed.
  • Jett has a teardrop tattoo under his eye that everyone suspects might be temporary.
  • Jett's latest album is called, "Jet."
  • This episode marks the moments that Nika Howard has been a member of the cast longer than she hasn't been a member of the cast. I would say that she's been on longer than she wasn't, but she was in those two episodes, and maybe she missed one or two since she joined the cast. Let's just say it evens out. Let's just say that.

Inventory Updates

  • -All of Harper's silverweed
  • +1 pooka shell necklace
  • +68 drugs

Quest Log Updates

  • [Active] - Sneak Jaela into Deephome to meet Aludra
  • [Active] - What are birds?


  • Recap
    • Tim - 16
    • Jennifer - 7
    • Nika - 9
    • Bachmann - 4

  • Harper - History Check into whether Harper recognizes the Jackal Mask Assassin
    • 9 - No recognition

  • Bachmann - Drugs Check to see how many drugs Jett has
    • 68 - rolled every d20 he has - He has 68 drugs

  • Bachmann - Secret Check between himself and the DM
    • 17 - Passes - (?)

  • Jett - Drugs Check to see how many he was on during his "memory" of starting the Demon Apocalypse
    • 13 drugs

  • Jett - Performance Check vs opposing Insight Check of Harper regarding special daps
    • 13+13 vs 2 - Harper is pretty sure that Jett invented it. Jett does it slightly better than Harper

  • DM - Odds or Even to determine if people recognize Jett as he enters Deephome
    • Bachmann chooses Even - Nat20 - The guy greeting him asks for an autograph. Changed shift to do so. Jett doesn't even look at him and whispers, "He's just going to sell the autograph for drugs."

  • Harper - History Check for more details into the snake people and Southra
    • 12 - No additional information