Episode 184 - Orc, Orc and Orc

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Michael DiMauro railroading Nika Howard, Mike Bachmann, Tim Lanning, and Jennifer Cheek
"Let's just say... I had a certain notion... that it would be extremely beneficial for you to have a level in our game world." ~ King Titus "Tim Lanning" Harper


Episode 184 - Orc, Orc and Orc

Petey Youngling is dead, and Revivify once again isn't allowed to be used, so the party has to move on to find Longcryer. Michael DiMauro lays down some ground rules regarding how Revivify is going to work in this campaign, including stipulating that if a character at least has a level, they could be considered important enough for the spell to work. With that in mind, when the party comes across a raiding party of orcs that had been harassing caravans, they want Bucky to join the fight to gain experience. At the end, Bucky is now canonically a Level 1 character.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



  • Heading East
  • Brexleyshire
    • The Tavern
    • The Stables
    • The Street


Everyone comes out into the hallways of the inn because of the shrieks murder coming from Petey Youngling's dad. However, Frank Foster takes control of the scene and loudly announces that there are no stab wounds and he wasn't murdered. There is a lot of blood, but everyone knew that Petey was a sick child. Frank Foster pleads to Jaela, recognizing that she's a paladin, and asks if she can do anything. Jaela tells him she'll make an attempt, but knows she cannot Revivify him. They try to comfort his father as they can, give him the gold piece they were going to give Petey for his service in the stables, and Aludra uses Stoneshape to create a statue of Petey to stand next to the statue of his mother, and then party moves on with their quest to find Longcryer.

The party was told by Frank Foster that a band of orcs had been seen traveling east, possibly attacking the Lanning caravan they had come across the day before, and Aludra spots an orc raiding party while in the air. The party decides this might be a good opportunity for Bucky to gain some experience, while at the same time help protect the roads, and they attack. Bucky reaches the orcs first and swings with his battle-crazed great sword, but it's Daisy that actually finishes off the first orc by tearing its throat out. Jett Razor Polymorph's one into a seal, while Aludra, Harper, and Jaela finish off the other two.

After the battle is over, they question the final orc, trying to see if someone had put him up to the raids. After the questioning, they see it's not the case. Raiding is just what he lives to do, and even when he's presented an opportunity to be released and allowed to live, he insists that he will never stop raiding. The party feels like they should execute him, and Ros suggests that maybe they should let Bucky do it, but it's too much for him and he refuses. While arguing who should execute the orc, Balox, Marlamin Windlore and Erynn Colleen become uncomfortable and walk away. Harper then takes initiative for the execution and grabs the orcs heads and electrocutes him and goes after his men.


  • Jett doesn't pee. Just little bits of his anatomy leak away

Inventory Updates

  • +20 Arrows

Quest Log Updates

  • [LEVEL UP] - Bucky is Level 1
  • [Active] - Longcryer!
  • [Active] - Curse of the Raven Queen
  • [Active] - Investigate merchant deals in Glaine, the Jewel of the East, and the Crescent Moon Coins
  • [Active] [Sidequest] - Deliver a very small bag of coins to Wilma in Glaine, the Jewel of the East
  • [Active] - What are birds?
  • [Active] - Who are the masked assassins?
  • Save the shrinking high elf city of Galanthus


  • Recap
    • Bachmann - 11
    • Tim - 4
    • Jennifer - 4
    • Nika - 3

  • Perception Check to spot the orc raiding party
    • Aludra - 18
    • Jaela - 15
    • Harper - 4
    • Jett - 4
      • Aludra spots a small band of four orcs

Combat Begins

  • Initiative vs 4 Orcs
    • Bucky - Nat20
    • Jett - 19
    • Harper - 17
    • Jaela - 14
    • Aludra - 8

Surprise Round

  • Bucky vs Orc
    • Melee Attack - (?)
      • Hits - (?) - Bites into shoulder of one of the orcs
      • Daisy - Bite - Tears out the throat of the orc and blood sprays everywhere

  • Jett vs Orc
    • Polymorph requiring Wis Saving Throw vs 17 Spell Save DC
      • (?) - It turns into a baby seal.
      • Athletics Check - 15 - Jett does a fly by and scoops up the seal without dismounting

  • Harper vs Orc
    • Intimidation Check - Did you attack those merchants! - 7 - He grabs his dick and shakes it at Harper
    • Fire Bolt - Mid 20s
      • Hits - 19 damage (fire) - He is on the brink of death
        • Surrender if there is any decency in you.
          • I will eat your bones! And drink your entrails!

  • Jeala vs Orc
    • Melee Attack - 21*(?) (with Advantage)
      • Hits - 19 damage - Jaela jumps off Princess Ivy Bluemoon and lops off one of the orcs arms
    • Attack with the back of the halberd - 11 Damage - It is bleeding profusely
    • Intimidation Check by digging into the wound made by the halberd
      • 19 - His arm is chopped off, but he looks even more upset that she's in his face.

  • Aludra vs Orc
    • Tremorstep requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs 16 Spell Save DC
      • (?) - He falls and takes 2d8 damage (bludgeoning) - 3 damage (bludgeoning) - It looks very unhappy

Round 1

  • Bucky vs Burning Orc
    • Melee Attack - (?)
    • Miss - The orc parries his battle-crazed great sword

  • Seal Orc
    • Nuzzles up to Jett as its attack

  • Jett using Bag of Tricks
    • Bag of Tricks - (?) - It spawns a badger named Brandon

  • Burning Orc vs Jaela

  • Harper vs Armless Orc
    • Dexterity Check to fashion a lasso from rope
      • 18+ - Success - Makes a lasso with his Bonus Action
    • Athletics to use his stupid lasso
      • 13 - Miss

  • Jaela vs Both Orc
    • Melee Attack with halberd - 13
      • Miss
    • Dagger Attack with Advantage against the one on the ground - 13+10
      • Hits - 9 damage - Glowing eyes on the dagger flash and then extinguish
    • Melee Attack with shaft of halberd - Nat20
      • Hite - 13 damage

  • Aludra vs Burning Orc
    • Melee Attack - 17
      • Hits - 10 damage - She brains the orc

Combat Ends