Episode 197 - Into the Sewers

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Toby Treacletart and a stray dog
"You know when you take your own shit in your hand and you squeeze it? And it just keeps getting stinkier and stinkier... as you squeeze it?" ~ Tim Lanning, 2017


Episode 197 - Into the Sewers

Mike Bachmann is absent so the party goes on a side quest into the sewers beneath Glaine, the Jewel of the East to fight some monsters and collect some mushrooms to power Toby's magical tracking device which has ever so conveniently just run out of power.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

  • BlergBlerg
  • Urgrog


  • Poop Golem



Toby wakes up to something licking his face, which is thankfully a dog and not anything unspeakable from the Jerk Hut. In fact the Jerk Hut isn't anywhere around. He's laying in the middle of the street. So Toby activates one use of his Ring of Animal Influence to influence the dog to help him piece together where he is... and instead pulls a prank on the sleeping Aludra and Jaela asleep and tells the dog to pee on their shoes, which he of course cleans up with Prestidigitation after their initial gross out to waking to a dog peeing on them.

The three are confused and trying to find their missing companion. Toby hopes that Jett isn't going to make good on his declaration from the night before to find a brigand to punch him in the face and Detect Magic fails to give any clues. However Jaela does spot a note pinned to the back of Toby's cloak written in a very childish looking handwriting and signed with only the drawing of a dick.

Had to go off to Glaine to take care of some stuff. See you there.

Toby knows returning to Glaine, the Jewel of the East so soon after freeing a prisoner is risky, but he won't let that stop him. He casts Seeming to make himself look like a tiny bugbear, going by the name of TimTim, and uses another charge of his ring to calm down Bruno Mars and feed him some pig knuckles to befriend him, ready to fly back to Glaine with Jaela and Aludra. But before he can mount the griffon, he hears a beeping sound from his bag and realizes the device he's made to point the way to the source of the magical disturbance has run out of power. The only thing that will get it working again is a special mushroom that lives in the sewers underneath the city.

Atop the griffons and Princess Ivy Bluemoon, the party flies over the sewer entrance that exits into the bay. The wait on the beach for the tide to recede to expose the grate, and Toby is startled from his gathering of sea shells, plants, and mussels when he sees Jaela rubbing oil on a sunbathing Aludra. The two women laugh when he hastily places his bag in front of him and scampers off, only for the two of them to spot the top of his wizard's hat poking up from behind some rocks soon after.

Toby uses Misty Step to get through the grate but that won't work for the other two so Jaela easily opens the grate and causes the bolt keeping it shut to snap in half. They pass several warning signs before finally coming across an easily incapacitated hostile goblinoid creature named, BlergBlerg. In his bugbear disguise, Toby creates the illusion of what he claims is an, up to this point, an unknown giant bugbear chief named. While he's distracted, Aludra easily knocks out BlergBlerg.

The wake up the goblinoid by dripping some sewer water in his face and learn of a large monster that he may have accidentally summoned that is in the chamber where the special mushrooms are growing.

Aludra: So what's up with this monster situation you were mentioning earlier.
BlergBlerg: You go in mushroom room... room. Monster kill!
Aludra: What kind of monster are you talking about here?
BlergBlerg: He big!
Aludra: Is he like you? Does he look like you?
BlergBlerg: No! He's magic!
Jaela: Does he
do magic, or is he magic?
BlergBlerg: He's big magic!
Jaela: Is this the thing taking all the things from Glaine, the Jewel of the East?
BlergBlerg: No. He born here. In goblin tunnels and he live here.
Jaela: Is he a shit demon?
BlergBlerg: Pffft! No, he's not demon... he's shit monster.

They take BlergBlerg with them just in case he has other important information.

As they get closer, the smell becomes strong enough that Prestidigitizes a globe of clean air around his nose to deal with the smell. And just out of sight of the entrance to the mushroom palace, he sends Arlington to scout out the area, and through his eyes he sees the biggest shit he's ever seen. Toby is They decide to take what they think is the safest route to defeating the monster. Toby prepares for combat by casting Mage Armor on himself, and then uses his familiar to cast Fireball at the monster while they remain out of sight.

The fireball causes all the methane in the sewer to explode, but everyone is quick on their feet and they all jump in the sewer water before getting scorched. BlergBlerg isn't so lucky and is killed. The party then constricts, freezes, and slices the poop golem until finally Jaela successfully slices off a few limbs and then cuts it in half. Toby jumps and grabs hold of a handle connected to some chain and the remains of the poop golem are flushed away.

Luckily, only the top layer of mushrooms was charred. With a big poop covered grin, Toby and the others collect four pounds of mushrooms while Toby tells them of its many uses such as creating love potions, quesadillas, and most relevant to their situation, for powering his device.


  • Toby has ranked his favorite sewers. Among the sewers in Glaine, this one is his third favorite.
  • These are Toby's fifth favorite mushrooms.
  • The White Spire gave Toby a Necklace of Adaptation (assumed) after nearly drowning the fourth time when exploring the sewers.
  • Toby's first battle.
  • Besides Doug the Dark Elf, Toby also likes to quote Barve Brightaxe despite not quite understanding him as well.
  • Toby named the large bugbear Urgrug, and make it give Toby compliments.
  • A week ago Toby had beats. A year ago his shoes were lit on fire.

Inventory Updates

  • +5 pounds of Glaine, the Jewel of the East, sewer mushrooms

Quest Log Updates

  • [Active] - Find the monster terrorizing Glaine, the Jewel of the East
  • [Active] - Discover the cause of the magical disturbance
  • [Active] - Curse of the Raven Queen
  • Save the shrinking high elf city of Galanthus


  • Recap
    • Nika - 19 - 8
    • Tim - 19 - 4
    • Jennifer - 2

  • Aludra & Jaela - Investigation Check Regarding the Disappearance of Jett.
    • 6 & 15 - Jaela notices a note pinned to Toby's back.

  • Jaela - Strength Check Against the Grate Closing Off the Sewers
    • 20* - The bolt locking it closed snaps in half.

  • Toby
  • Minor Illusion - Spell Save 18 DC vs Intelligence (Investigation) Check of BlergBlerg
    • Succeeds - BlergBlerg believes the fake bugbear is real.

  • Toby - History Check Against His Knowledge of a book Goblins, Goblinoids, and Goobers: Things You Don't Want to Run In To.
    • 19 - He remembers that bugbears are the meanest of the goblinoids.

  • Toby - Arcana/History Check Against His Knowledge of Monsters
    • 29 - He is pretty sure the creature is a golem of some sort.

Combat Begins

  • Initiative vs BlergBlerg
    • Aludra - 18
    • Toby - 15
    • Jaela - 3

Round 1 vs BlergBlerg

  • Aludra
    • Melee attack (non-lethal) - 16
      • Hit - 13 damage - BlergBlerg falls over unconscious.

Combat Ends

  • Toby - History Check Regarding The Biggest Shit You've Ever Seen
    • 29 - It's some kind of golem

Combat Begins

  • Initiative vs the Poop Golem
    • Aludra - 18
    • Toby - 15
    • Jaela - 3

Round 1 vs Poop Golem

  • Toby
    • Fireball - 18 vs Dex
      • Hit - 6d6 - 23 damage - Huge 20 foot blast of fire

DM Interruption - Everyone Roll Initiative

  • Initiative vs The Resulting Methane Explosion
    • Toby - 17
    • Jaela - 14
    • Aludra - 1

The camera pulls back and you're looking from outside the sewer and flames are shooting out the ends of the sewer.

  • Dex Saving Throw vs 18 to Jump Into the Water
    • Toby - 20* - Success
    • Aludra - 20 - Success
    • Jaela - 18+ - Success
    • Arlington - Free pass

Return to Combat with the Poop Golem - Top of the Round

  • Toby
    • Evard's Black Tentacles - 18 vs Dex - Constrict that poop!
      • Hits - 3D6 - 12 damage and is Restrained
  • Jaela
    • Melee Attack - 19, 13, & 17
      • Hit, Miss, & Hit - 30 damage - Slices the poop into pieces. A big chunk falls off.
  • Poop Golem
    • Poop Golem - Strength Saving Throw (Restrained) - 15 vs ??
      • Fails - Takes 13 damage
    • Slam Attack vs Toby (23) and Aludra (17)
      • Hit (16 damage) and Miss
      • Toby - Con Saving Throw (Concentration) 8 + 8 + 3 vs 10
        • Success - Concentration unbroken
      • Toby - Con Saving Throw (Poop Punch) Throw vs 15
  • Aludra
    • Frigid Gale (at 3rd Level) - +2 to Con Saving Throw vs 16 Spell Save DC Con Saveing throw
      • Hit - 3d8 - 14 damage (cold) and speed is halved

Round 2 vs Poop Golem

  • Toby
    • Maintains Evard's Black Tentacles
    • Fireball (at 5th Level) with 18 Dexterity DC
      • Hit - 11d6 - 29 damage - The smell is not good.
  • Jaela
    • Melee - 15, 23, & 14
      • Hit, Hit, & Hit - 28 damage - Poop Golem killed - Jaela swings her halberd and chops off its leg, arm, and then finally slices it in half.

Combat Ends