This episode was recorded live in front of an audience at GeeklyCon 2017! We were all dolled up in our outfits and oh did we have just the best time! It was a little sweaty but the surprises kept on rolling so we didn’t mind the heat anyways. Oh yeah, it was hot because we went to HELL!!! How are we going to get out of this one?!?
Cast and Player Characters
During the night, during Episode 222 - Plan C.5, Jaela has another dream in which she is speaking to the Raven Queen. RQ is disappointed in her for not yet destroying the Lich. She says that she will have to be punished! When Jaela wakes up, Aludra is gone. She is having a dream in which she is falling... to hell!
Jaela wakes Toby and tells them that they need to go to hell to save her. He has a magical thing that can take them to gnomish heaven, but if he simply makes a few adjustments, they should be able to do it. They do it, and they are... in hell! Toby quickly realizes that he can't do magic from his spellbook, as everything he reads turns into a recipe for beans. Jaela, too, realizes that her halberd has become a giant vegetable. They find Aludra sitting near a river and she is eating burritos. Demons and devils are bringing them to her and laughing as if she is being tortured. One of them is Scratch the Younger, son of Scratch the Elder. He tells her that they can never leave. Aludra didn't want to leave, as hell, it turns out, is awesome, but upon hearing that she can't do something, suddenly she wants to do it, so they agree to leave. Scratch the Younger tells them that the only way out... is through the River Styx.
Just then, a simple boatman arrives, pushing with a long stick, a small boat. The group recognizes him as Bananas Foster!!! He's back, babyyyyyy! And he has to constantly be eating bananas. They set out and see all of the horrors hell has to offer, such as:
- A row of empty blockbusters!
- Rooms with no cold air in them!
- People walking in large groups down a sidewalk, but they're walking really slowly!
- They're putting up a bunch of new buildings, but they're full of a bunch of "bennies". (This one was suggested by Bananas)
From the water, hands emerge and begin tearing at the boat. The gang fends them off, and even Bananas is a little useful. After the hands have been removed, devils attack! Toby tries to make a wall of force between them, centered on his hat, that forms a dome around the boat, but the devils fly under it, through the water, and they are forced to fight. Toby throws the ship on them, and Bananas forms himself into the shape of a devil and commands them all to go away, which they do.
They come up on the gates of hell to find it guarded by a giant three headed dog with different heads: one is a wolf, on is a jackal, and one is a hound. Toby uses Major Image to make the form of three giant dog vaginas and infuses shadowfell magic to make them real. The dogs go to town. Toby tries to get the key using Mage Hand, but cannot. Jaela commands the dog to shake, flinging the key away, but it turns its attention to them and attacks. Aludra tries to Entangle it, but it gets out of it. Toby, having apparently seen a lot of hentai, uses Evard's Black Tentacles to make black tentacles emerge from the dog vaginas and grab the dog. Aludra rushes forward and grabs the key.
Scratch the Younger points out that there is a lever that keeps the gates of hell open, so one of them will have to stay behind to hold it open. A game of wits takes place, with Jaela trying to convince Bananas to stay behind, and Bananas trying to convince Jaela or Toby to do it. In the end, Toby uses his Ring of Animal Influence to make Bananas stay behind, which he does. Our heroes escape hell, and wake up with sand in their underpants!
- All of the eternal punishments in hell are weirdly food based. Jaela's Halberd turns into a large vegetable, Aludra is "forced" to eat a bunch of burritos, Toby's spellbook and everything he reads is just recipes for beans, and Bananas has to eat bananas for all eternity.
Quest Log Updates
- [NEW][Complete] - Escape Hell!
- Toby and Jaela roll to go to hell, with advantage - 20
Combat Begins vs Hands
- Aludra - 18
- Bananas - 17
- Jaela - 17
- Toby - 8
- Aludra vs Hands
- Crackle at level 2, requiring DEX saving throw
- She electrocutes a set of hands and they let go
- Bananas vs Hands
- Fittingly, uses Burning Hands on these Hands, requiring DC 17 DEX saving throw - 16
- Burns several sets of hands off the boat
- Jaela vs Hands
- Deceives the hands into grabbing each other - 11
- Toby vs Hands
- Magic Missile at Level 3
- 5 sets of hands are thrown off the boat
- Aludra vs Hands
- Swing Hammer like a golf club - 28
- She smashes the fuck out of them
- Bananas vs Hands
- Frostbite - 12
- Freezes a set, there is only one set left
- Jaela vs Hands
- Stabs at the last set with dagger - 25
- Stabs the shit out of the last set
Combat Begins vs 3 devils
- Toby - 19
- Bananas - 18
- Jaela - 16
- Aludra - 6
- Casts Wall of Force on his hat as a dome, so that it will follow them
- Casts Mask of Many Faces to make himself look like a devil
- Casts Haste on Aludra
- Fly under the dome through the water
- Aludra vs Devils
- Casts Wind Wall, requiring STR saving throw - ??
- They get pushed back, and take 17 bludgeoning damage
- Then uses hammer - 17
- Toby vs Devils
- Casts Levitate on the boat and drops it on the devils, requiring DC 18 DEX saving throw - 3
- Fail - they get hit, and the boat only takes minor damage
- Bananas vs Devils
- Uses Persuasion to make them go away - 30
- Jaela uses Command to make the Cerberus "Shake", requiring a DC 16 WIS saving throw
- Jaela uses Commandagain to make him "Sit", requiring a DC 16 WIS saving throw
- 17 - she doesn't command him
- Aludra tries to entangle Cerberus, requiring a DC 16 STR saving throw - ??
- He passes, and is not entangled
- Toby uses Evard's Black Tentacles to trap Cerberus, requiring DC 18 STR saving throw - 12
- Jaela uses Deception on Bananas, to tell him they will come back for him - 19
- Bananas uses Insight to see if he believes her - 22
- Victory Bananas - he doesn't believe her
- Bananas then Persuasionss Jaela to stay behind, and they will come back for her - 20
- This roll is not resolved
- Aludra uses Animal Handling to make Bananas stay behind (with advantage) - 20
- So Bananas rolls Nature to resist it - 21
- Victory Bananas - he is not Animal Handled