Episode 250 - The Return of the Raw Fury Games Part 2

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Badass Jaela

"I'm Amazed, but not in a way that will get us sued." ~ Mike Bachmann

"Toby starts uncontrollably shitting!" ~ Bachamnn, controlling Toby now


Episode 250 - The Return of the Raw Fury Games Part 2

The race is afoot! Team White Spire is going through some tough times but they have managed to keep with the pack and avoid being eliminated/ killed. But, if we are being honest, isn’t losing to a bunch of jerks worse than death? Armed with Rudolph’s powerful songs, and Rollen’s overland travel buff, surely our heroes will take first place!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



  • Calsten
  • The road between Calsten and Mastwick
  • Some small un-named town
  • Mastwick
  • The road between Mastwick and Pelor's Hope
  • Pelor's Hope


Long Story

Rudolph Reindeer has just completed the bard’s challenge, and won, so he and the rest of the White Spire team, Toby Treacletart, Lex, Rolen Twentais, and Raw Fury Games representative Xx69-420xX, head off. Also Rudolph's roadie is there. The groups all leave staggerdly, which is a word: The group from Mastwick goes first, then those of Calsten (Toby makes an illusion of the Calstenites' family members wounded and pleading for them to return home (this causes one of them to run off)), the teens who are from Norhall, and then, 15 minutes later, our heroes are allowed to go (Calsten rents out Cheetahs, so our group rents four of them). Their next location is Mastwick, and along the way, they pass by the teens from Norhall. Toby creates the illusion of a brick wall in front of them, but infuses it with sticky strong string, so they thing they're gonna crash, but actually just get stuck. The cheetahs have to stop every couple hours, because they're not great with stamina.

A couple hours into the journey, the come up to a small town that is on fire. Some of the townsfolk say that they were attacked by dragon-folk, but Rolen Twentais doesn't detect any within a mile, they must have gone on ahead. The heroes decide to stop and help the villagers. A young boy named Timmy Lanning and his older sister Heather are trapped in a burning tavern, so Toby casts a sphere of water to pick up Timmy and being him outside, while Rolen runs in to save Heather, and Rudolph saves the mead. As thanks, Timmy gives them some giant lizards, called Dude-backs, that they breed there in town, instead of cheetahs. They move just as fast as said cheetahs, but don't have to slow down. Toby, in return, gives Timmy one of his Immovable Rods. Once more, they head out.

Soon, they pass a team of Dwarves, and Rolen shoots out the knees of each one of them, with a single arrow. Later that night, they reach Mastwick. It's walls have been painted red, in homage to the town's savage ruler, Pyre. They are, of course, not allowed into Mastwick, but the Raw Fury Games bros have set up a tent outside it, whereupon our heroes discover that they are the third group to arrive, behind the rude dudes from Mastwick and the High-Elves of Galanthus. Toby attempts to persuade the High-Elves and the "scale boys" to participate in a drinking contest against Rudolph, and the loser must drop out of the race, casting Mass Suggestion on them. They don't succumb to his wizardrous ways, and refuse the game. Meanwhile, Rolen sneaks into their ranks in an attempt to discern their mode of transportation. He is more successful than Toby was, and finds a small team of Wyverns they are using. Naturally, he decides to hide with them for the dragon-folk to return. As he waits, he clips the wings of the Wyverns, so they can't fly.

The current teams at the Mastwick camp are the dragons of Mastwick, the Galanthus High-Elves, the Deephome Dwarves, the Calsten guys, the regular people from Pelor's Hope, the apelings of the Swamps of Ichtaka, and the Tidtowne Terrors. Toby hides in a bush and casts Geas (at 7th level) on the most foolish looking High-Elf, commanding him to not move closer to Pelor's Hope than he is right now. This spell last an entire year. Before they leave in the morning, Lex castsDemiplane on the Calstenites' tent door, so when they go to leave, they get trapped for an hour in a demiplane.

In the morning, the Modrons announce the next challenge, a dance-off, single elimination, losers will be sent home. First off, our group faces off against the monkeys of Swamps of Ichtaka. Xx69-420xX tells them that they all must dance, and Rudolph asks the creature if it is allowed to dance. When it responds that there ain't nothing in the rulebook says a robot can't dance, Rudolph casts Irresistible Dance on it. The dance-off begins. Xx69-420xX squares off against the monkey, and blows him away. Lex faces another monkey, and the two dance equally impressive. Lex cheers on the crowd, pumping them up, and granting her the chutzpah necessary to beat the monkey. Rolen goes up against an older monkey with a suspiciously Brooklyn-like accent, and casts Plant Growth as he approaches. The old monkey is somehow able to convince Rolen not to compete. Toby's turn. Toby turns into a bird, using Polymorph, one of those dancing birds, and smokes the monkeys. They are eliminated. Speaking of smoking, the High-Elves of Galanthus are left, along with our heroes, the dragons of Mastwick, and the team from Drunkeros Madagascar.

Our team is allowed to go second, after the Mastwick team. They try to fly off, but find their Wyverns to be sabotaged. They get some horses from town, which are less fast than the Wyverns. Then our guys go. Lex casts Mass Suggestion on their giant lizards to make them travel longer than they would normally. Rolen falls asleep in the saddle, but the others are able to keep him upright. Early the next morning, they see a group that has stopped moving, and some large beasts around them. It is the team from Galanthus, all of them dead. Lex has the idea to switch out their animals, since the lizards are in a pretty bad way, while Rolen investigates the bodies. He finds a stray dragon scale, and determines that it was the dragon-folk of Mastwick, and that they are still within one mile of their current location, in the direction of Pelor's Hope.

The heroes head off once more, nearing their destination, and soon see a group on the road ahead, riding skeletal horses. Our team is gaining on them, but it seems that the Mastwickians will get to Pelor's Hope before they do. Rudolph uses his bardic powers to inspire their mounts to move faster. Rolen commands a nearby Lake Monster to attack them, and Lex blasts a few of them into its mouth. The two groups make it through the gates of Pelor's Hope, the statue of Thom Vidalis glistening in the sun, as Rolen, whilst riding his mount, shoots three arrows at each of the Mastwickians, also moving, and hits them all dead on. It's pretty crazy.

Anyway, the path to Thom's statue, the goal of the race, is clear, with no more obstacles. Together, they reach up and touch the statue, which, just like in Harry Potter, transports them to the arena, where they are greeted by a mass of cheering fans. An announcer tells them all the the White Spire has won the Raw Fury Games!


The Raw Fury Games Chase is in full swing. The White Spire group heads out fourth and comes up on a town with a burning building. Two children are trapped in it, and our heroes save them. They get to Mastwick and Rolen sabotages the dragon team's mounts. In the morning there is a dance-off, which the White Spire team wins, and gets to leave second. They find the High-Elves of Galanthus have been killed by the dragon-folk of Mastwick. They continue on. Eventually, it comes down to a neck and neck race between the heroes of the White Spire, and the dragon-folk of Mastwick, right outside the city of Pelor's Hope. Rolen summons a giant monster from a nearby lake to slow them down, and it eats one of them. Inside the gates of the city, he shoots three arrows into the survivors, knocking them off their horses, and ensuring the White Spire team's victory... in the Raw Fury Games!


  • Tim and his sister, Heather, are trapped in a burning building. This is not the first time Michael has put the Lanning family in harm's way
  • The High-Elves of Galanthus are riding on seemingly magical deer
  • They only drink vodka in Mastwick
  • Tim Lanning leaves just after the first rounds of dance-offs
  • Despite this character existing since pretty much the start of the show, Bachmann only the day of this recording, created the character sheet for Rolen Twentais
  • Everyone knows about the great Lake Monster of Pelor's Hope, that lives in the lake a half-mile outside the city
  • This episode used music from Syrinscape:
    • The songs Evil March, Eric Foothills, Enter the Maze, Fiddle McGinty, Feral Chase, Industrial Cinematic, A Nervous Wait, Exotic Battle, and Mountain Emperor were from Kevin MacLeod, at Incompetech.

Inventory Updates

  • -1 Immovable Rod

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 18 - roll-off - 12
    • Bachmann - 18 - roll-off - 18
    • Nika - 7
    • Jonas - 14

  • Toby rolls a d100 to see how dark he gets with his illusions - 42
    • Not so bad

  • Rolen rolls to see if there are any Dragon-kind within a mile of them - 18
    • No, they seem to have gone

Skill Challenge begins

  • Initiative
    • Rolen - Nat20
    • Toby - 14
    • Lex - 8+3
    • Rudolph - 7

Round 1

  • Rolen
    • Shoots several smoking arrows into the fire, to starve it of oxygen - 17+9
      • Success, the fire on the first floor is put out (1 success, 0 failures)

  • Toby
    • Casts Watery Sphere to encase Timmy inside it, requiring a STR saving throw - ?? he fails
      • Success - Timmy is no longer in the burning building (2 successes, 0 failures)

  • Lex
    • Uses Arcana to conjure a Water Elemental, to clear a path for them - 4+6
    • Failure, it soaks into some sawdust (2 successes, 1 failure)

  • Rudolph
    • Uses Hellish Resistance to run inside and grab the mead (using Performance) - 27
      • Success, he saves the mead (3 successes, 1 failure)

Round Three

  • Rolen
    • Uses Survival to smell the air and determine where Timmy's sister is - 18
      • Success, he finds her and saves her (4 successes, 1 failure)

Skill Challenge victory

  • Rolen shoots an arrow at some Dwarves they pass - 13+13
    • Hit - He shoots one arrow that goes through all of their knees

  • Toby rolls Persuasion to get the other teams to agree to a drinking contest

  • Rolen Sneaks among the dragon-folk to ascertain how they are getting places so fast - 18+9
    • Success - He finds a small team of Wyverns

  • Rolen rolls Animal Handling to sneak up on the Wyverns - 17+6
    • They don't attack
  • He then rolls Survival to clip their wings (with Advantage) - 21
    • Success

Dance-Off Begins

  • Xx69-420xX rolls Dex/Performace - ??
    • Beats the monkey

  • Lex rolls Dex/Performace - 16+3
  • The Monkey she dances against - 19
    • A tie!
  • Lex pumps up the crowd, rolls again with advantage - 11+3
  • The monkey - 10
    • Victory Lex!

  • Rolen makes a WIS saving throw when an old monkey rolls 19 Persuasion against him - <19
    • Rolen is Persuaded, does not compete

  • Toby rolls Nature to dance as the bird (with advantage) - 15
    • Against the monkey's 11
      • Victory Toby!

Round one end, the monkeys are eliminated

  • Everyone makes a CON saving throw to see how late they can stay up
    • Lex - 15+7
    • Rolen - Nat1
    • Rudolph - 18
    • Toby - Nat20

  • Rolen rolls Investigation to see how the High-Elves died - 23
    • He finds a stray dragon scale
  • He then rolls Survival to track the dragons - 13+6
    • They are headed toward Pelor's Hope

Chase/Skill Challenge begins

  • Initiative
    • Rudolph - 24
    • Rolen - 19
    • Lex - 18

Round One

  • Rudolph
    • Inspires the steeds to go faster (Performance) - 18
      • Success, the steeds charge forward (1 success, 0 failures)

  • Rolen
    • Uses 1 charge from his Trident of Fish Command on the Great Monster of Pelor's Lake, requiring a saving throw, which it fails
      • The Lake Monster spooks the steeds of the Mastwickians, putting out their hoof flames (2 successes, 0 failures)

  • Lex
    • Casts Eldritch Blast at the Mastwickians (with Arcana and advantage) - 10+8
      • Hits - 13 damage (3 successes, 0 failures)
        • Blasts him off into Darryl's mouth

Round Two

  • Rudolph
    • Casts Regenerate on the horses, using Arcana (with inspiration) - Nat20
      • A bunch of meat grows on their asses, slowing them down (4 successes, 0 failures)

  • Rolen
    • Uses Volley and Hammerhead Arrows to shoot three stunning arrows at the Mastwick team - 26
      • Hit - All three are knocked down (5 successes, 0 failures)

Chase Challenge Ends