Episode 257 - Gotta Go Fast

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"I'm happier than a horse fart to be here." ~ Nika Howard, 2018


Episode 257 - Gotta Go Fast

After meeting our new and good friend, Skud, and defeating his undead master it is time to really dig into what makes this fella tick. Really get into what it means to be Skud. What is that rumbling noise coming from far away? I assume we will have to time chat and that the huge sound coming our way is not a big deal. This seems fair.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Having just defeated the Old Master of Skud Derringer, The Tower of Grey, including Rowan Grey, Toby Treacletart, and Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain, are all standing around in the treasure room. Frank Ubell is, of course, inspecting the Treasure. Toby asks Skud if they should recieve payment from the treasure for their assistance in the fight, and Skud agrees, hesitantly. Toby casts Message and tells Rowan that he thinks they should steal the money. Skud brings out a jeweled sphere that he thinks looks like an egg, and tries to crack it open. Toby stops him. Toby casts the ritual Identify to examine the orb, while Rowan pockets several coins for her self. Tobster gets a weird divination thing from the orb, sensing it is some sort of map...

The map thing is made of some indiscernible metal, and has something etched into it, with equidistant dots across from it. As they argue about it, they suddenly hear a loud roaring sound coming from somewhere far away. Rowan and Lahni recognize it as being very far off, and Lahni slips away quickly. She runs outside (at break-neck speed,) and tries to see what the gosh darned heck that was, and see that it is a large red dragon! She runs back down to the others, and tells them all about it. They ask her if it was coming this way, which it was, and at that exact second, the roof explodes off of the monastery, and there is a dragon there. It's Pyre!!! The ancient red dragon that has been ruling Mastwick for 13 years at this point. He asks them to hand over the relic, and attacks. Toby grabs the map, thinking he will just give it to the dragon, but senses that he will just kill them anyway. Instead, he tries to appeal to Pyre's sense of ego, and butters him up, after enclosing himself and allies in a Wall of Force. It works! Pyre offers to only kill Rowan, Lahni, and Skud if Toby hands over the map! Hurray! Wait...

Skud thinks deep into the recesses of his memory, and remembers that there is a secret trap door in the treasure room that they can use to escape, and they think for a while about to do about this information. Lahni suggests throwing the map away, then they all escape through the trap door while he flies after it. She then has the idea for Toby to make a fake map and they distract him with that instead, like some anime thing that I don't understand (Naruto/Sasuke vs Zabuza with multiple illusions hiding their real intent). They do know that there is some rock formation in the shape of a hand giving the middle finger approximately 30 miles away from their location that they could meet up in if the party was split up, which they may well have to do.

Everyone congratulates themselves on their ability to come up with a good plan, for once. Toby ends concentration on the dome, casts Invisibility at fourth level on Toby, Rowan, and Skud, gives the real orb to Lahni, as she is unbelievably fast, and things go crazy! The three of them escape down the trapdoor, as Pyre breathes fire at Lahni! The episode ends!


The party is standing in the treasure room, having just defeated Skud's old master. Skud shows them an orb that is down there, and Toby figures out that it is some kind of map. There is a loud roar, and Lahni uses lightning fast speed to go investigate. She sees that it is a large ancient red dragon, and runs back to tell the others. The dragon, Pyre, attacks, and Toby is able to create a dome around them to keep them safe while they figure out what to do. Eventually, the plan is made to give Lahni an illusory orb, and she runs off with it, while the others escape with a real orb down a nearby trapdoor. This happens as the episode ends.


  • Toby and Skud disagree on what to refer to Skud's zombie friends as. This is a continuation on the joke from last time, where Skud does not believe that his zombie friends are dead/undead, but rather, that he actually brought them back to life
  • The Monastery of Uthgar was founded at the same time Skud was born
  • Lahni moves 60 ft/round as her standard movement, and her monk level bumps it up to 120. She has boots of speed (Nika loves magical boots) that double it again, and she can use a Ki point to dash for double movement. So, she can go 480 ft per round, which is six seconds. So she moves 80 ft/second, or 288,000 ft/hour, or 54.5 miles per hour. Damn.
    • If she trades standard action for movement, she can go an additional 120 ft, so 600 ft/ second, or 68 miles per hour!

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 10
    • Nika - 15 - roll-off - 3
    • Jennifer - 15 - roll-off - 7
    • Bachmann - 4

  • Toby rolls Deception to claim the map is non-magical - 5
  • Skud rolls WIS against it - Nat1
    • Victory Toby, Skud is fooled
  • Lahni also rolls WIS - 18+10
    • Victory Lahni - she knows he is lying

  • Everyone rolls Nature or Survival to see what the roar sound was
    • Skud - 7
    • Lahni - 10+10
    • Rowan - 24
      • It sounds fairly far off

  • Lahni rolls Perception to see where the loud noise was coming from - 3+10
    • There is something flying toward them, but she can't determine what it is

  • Lahni again rolls Perception to see what the thing is, from a better vantage point - 12+10
    • It is a large red dragon!

  • They roll History/Arcana to see what they know about the dragon
    • Rowan - 15
    • Toby - 20
      • Pyre is the most famous red dragon, but he's not the only one

Combat Begins vs Pyre

  • Initiative
    • Pyre
    • Toby - 12
    • Rowan - 11
    • Skud - 8
    • Lahni - 6

Round One

  • Pyre
    • Breathes Flame Breath on everyone, requiring DEX saving throws
      • Toby - 17
        • Fail - 91 damage
      • Skud - 10
        • Fail - 91 damage
      • Lahni - 24
        • Success - 0 damage
      • Rowan - 19
        • Fail - 45 damage

  • Toby
    • Picks up the orb, casts Mage Hand
    • Rolls Insight (with a luck point) - 13
      • He thinks that Pyre will kill them whether he gives up the orb or not
    • Grabs the orb, casts Wall of Force to create a floored dome between them
    • Tries to reason with the beast, using Persuasion - Nat20

  • They all make WIS saving throws against Pyre's frightful presence
    • Rowan - Nat20
      • Not frightened
    • Toby - 16
      • Frightened
    • Skud - 18
      • Frightened
    • Lahni - 20
      • Frightened

I don't think we're in combat anymore

  • Skud rolls History to see if he knows any way out of here - 23
    • He knows there is a secret trap door under the treasure pile

  • Pyre
    • Casts Fire Breath vs Lahni requiring a DEX save - 22
      • Fail - Unknown damage

Episode Ends