Episode 273 - Marbled Madness

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"I hope Eckhart Dayhammer doesn't die, Michael, 'cause he's very good. He's the best character on the show, and that sucks. Or, actually, do kill him; he's the best character in the show." ~ Tim Lanning, a jealous boy


Episode 273 - Marbled Madness

As we draw ever nearer to the sound of battle and the overwhelming, yet hard to place, power emanating from this Fey Castle we know that some truly awful stuff is going to greet us. Just, ten gallons of bad in a 8 gallon jug. Thank the gods that other heroes from the planes seem to be assisting us or else we would turn into adventurer slime.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

The Tower of Grey has just found itself trapped inside the Castle of the Spring Court, while searching for Prince Thom Harper/Melora. Within the circular room, there are four statues, an equal distant apart from each other, that seem to resemble Fey warriors. One has a greatsword, another has a hammer in each hand, a third has a bow, and the final one, a staff. Each "plinth" contains a crystal, all of which flash, and the sound of rushing water can be heard. Dark water begins to pour into the room, from a series of grates in the room. Toby and Skud remind Michael that they can't be drowned; Toby, because he has a water breathing device, and Skud because he is a Water Genasi, and can breathe underwater. In response, the water is acidic! Also, because things aren't bad enough, the four statues step down off their plinths and attack our heroes! Oh no!

Lahni thinks they may just want to be paid for their performance as a statue, and she thinks egg salad sandwiches are some kind of currency, so she suggests giving them some. Toby of all people tries to feed them one, but the statue with the greatsword slices it in half. They fight. Toby spends his time focusing on the plinths, learning that they control the statues that came from them. He is able to shut down the one holding the hammer, which also closes the grates thereof. It seems the grates are divided into four quadrants, with each quadrant corresponding to one of the statues/bases. Shutting down a statue also closes the grates.


The party enters a room, where the doors on either side of the room seal shut. Four statues inside come to life and attack them, while the room quickly begins to fill with water. A fight commences, where little damage is done. Toby discovers that the bases the statues came from control said statues, and he disables one of them before the episode ends.


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Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 12
    • Nika - 12
    • Jennifer - 18
    • Bachmann - 2

Combat Begins vs Four Statues'

  • Initiative
    • Statue with Greatsword - 21
    • Skud - 19
    • Rowan - 16
    • Statue with Two Hammers
    • Statue with Staff
    • Toby - 13
    • Statue with Bow
    • Lahni - 6

Round One'

  • Greatsword
    • Charges toward Lahni
    • Melee Attack x3 - 23, 22, 17
      • Hit, Hit, Miss - 16 slashing damage

  • Skud
    • Casts Magic Weapon at fourth level on Rowan's Oathbow, adding +2 to attack and damage rolls for an hour
    • Casts Spiritual Weapon at eighth level
      • Spiritual Weapon Melee Attacks the Staff Statue (or, the Staff-tue) - 16
        • Miss

  • Rowan
    • Makes Greatsword Statue her sworn enemy
    • Casts Hunter's Mark on it
    • Ranged Attack (Oathbow) - 27
      • Hit - 19 piercing damage + 6

  • Hammer
    • Charges at Rowan
    • Melee Attack x4 - 13, 18, 20, 24
      • Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit - 32 damage

  • Toby
    • Casts Misty Step to land on the plinth of the Hammer Statue
    • Rolls Arcana to investigate it - 28
      • It seems to be some kind of control device
    • Rolls another Arcana to try to take control of it - 11 - rerolls with luck - 11+10
      • He makes progress, and half of the blinking lights on it turn off, as do half of the grates in that quadrant

  • Bow
    • Ranged Attacks Toby x3 - 13, 16, 24
      • Miss, Miss, Hit - 7 piercing and 13 poison damage, also has to make a DC 14 CON saving throw - 15+9

  • Lahni
    • Does the Black Widow Neck-Hug Sling of Death on the Bow Statue - 22
      • Hit - 13 damage
    • Uses a Ki point to go on the defensive

Round Two

  • Everyone (but Toby) makes a DEX saving throw
    • Skud - 11
      • Fail - 2 damage
    • Rowan - 22
      • Success - 1 damage
    • Lahni - 18
      • Success - 0 damage

  • Greatsword
    • Melee Attack x2 vs Skud - 19, 25
      • Hit, Hit - 28 slashing damage

  • Skud
    • Spiritual Weapon Attack vs Staff Statue - 23
      • Hit - 24 damage
    • Casts Ray of Sickness at third level
      • Staff Statue casts Counterspell

  • Rowan
    • Again Hunter's Mark's the Greatsword Statue
    • Ranged Attack vs Greatsword - 31
      • Hit - 20 damage
    • Also attacks Greatsword with Dancing Rapier - 28
      • Hit - 9 damage

  • Hammer
    • Melee Attack vs Rowan - 26, Nat20
      • Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit - 29 damage

  • Staff
    • Casts Chain Lightning at sixth level
      • Toby Counterspells, but it's higher than third level, so he must roll 16 - 19
        • Spell is Countered

  • Toby
    • Again tries to disable/control the statue with Arcana - 27
      • All the lights go off, the Hammer Statue shuts down, all the grates in that zone close
    • Jumps 55 ft toward the plinth that the Greatsword Statue came from

  • Bow
    • Ranged Attack x3 vs Toby - 9, 12, Nat20
      • Miss, Miss, Hit - 24 damage

  • Lahni
    • Melee Attack vs Bow - <19, 19
      • Miss, Hit - 9 damage

Round Three

Episode Ends Mid-Combat