Episode 275 - An Unquenchable Thirst (GeeklyCon 2018 Live Show)

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"Well, I'm obviously playing Rowan, 'cause I rolled a 1. GET ME OUT OF THIS BODY!!!" ~ Tim as Toby as Rowan


Episode 275 - An Unquenchable Thirst (GeeklyCon 2018 Live Show)

We recorded this episode live from the Lincoln Theater in Columbus Ohio! We had such a wonderful time in an honest to goodness theater. The staff even helped us with fancy lav mics!! It ruled. Listen as your heroes aide a pal who has lost their stick. What dangers will they face? What magical tricks will be played on the poor players who are definitely smart and good at Dungeons & Dragons?

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

After Melora's celebratory feast, The Tower of Grey wakes up deep in the forests, unsure of how they got there. After drinking some of Lahni's disgusting Ferret Wine, they soon hear the familiar melody of Old Ben Dilladong approaching them! He greets them merrily, as he does, and is accompanied by Silverberries, his bear-lover. He says that he is glad they are there, as they are just who he was looking for. He brings in Viscount Ambrosious Quorin, the Rakshasha from Episode 260, and tells them that there is an "ancient Fey creature" that is unleashing evils around the forest, and that VAQ is the only one who can help. Old Ben says that he would take on this great evil himself, but he can't as the creature plans to unleash his own worst fear, his own worst brother, Greg Dilladong! VAQ explains that the creature has his Staff of Law, which is very powerful and he wants it back. Ben asks how he lost it, and VAQ responds that it was taken from him by a tiny, rhyming creature, Thirst! He also tells them that he can sense the presence of his staff when it is nearby, which it kind of is now, about an hour away. Ben Dilladong gives them a way to summon him, a song they can sing, should they encounter any trouble, and departs.

VAQ points them in the right direction, and Skud sends out some of his skeleton friends to see if he's accurate, which they say he is? The forest is nice now, after the events we may or may not have been witness to yet. After walking for a while, there is a buzzing sound, and four tiny creatures come buzzing out of the forest. They stop them, and say that they are not allowed to pass and see their leader. The Tower of Grey seems upset that they are not rhyming. The sprites cast a spell on them that was given by their master, and the members of the Tower of Grey begin to... change. Toby and Rowan switch bodies! So do Skud and Lahni! After the swapping, the sprites attack! There is much confusion about how to play each other's characters. But soon, VAQ, who is playing himself, destroys them all.

VAQ reveals that he recently died, and was reborn. That second part is normal for him, but the first part is interesting. (The last time we saw VAQ, Lady Adira Harper had just captured Melora using the Jade Pyramid that he and the others helped to bring her.) He then leads the party through the forest, toward his Staff of Law. They ride on snakes. Toby, as Rowan, covers him/herself in sticks and dirt. He uses her "Hide in Plain Sight" ability to attempt to sneak ahead, but does such a bad job, and is Aludra clumsy. He falls into the clearing ahead and sees... Thirst! He attacks! For a surprise round, he waves a the Staff of Law (which should be gigantic compared to him) at them, and they are all paralyzed, except for their mouths. In a pickle, they decide to call out for Ben Dilladong, by singing his song, kind of.

The giant comes and challenges Thirst to a Feywild Rhyme-off! Because this is the best episode ever. Old Ben ends the battle by unfreezing the heroes, upon which they attack. Much damage is dealt unto Thirst, and eventually, Toby/Rowan deals the killing blow. Thirst threatens his final form, before Old Ben appears again (I guess he was gone), and railroads the episode to an end. Thirst dies. VAQ thanks them for their usefulness, picks up his staff, and vanishes in a burst of flames. Old Ben Dilladong thanks them for getting rid of the staff, and invites them to stay back at his place again for yet another feast. He also offers them his "magical grove" that can transport them to anywhere, across any plane! He ALSO changes them back to their original bodies before going off to fuck his bear wife.


Old Ben Dilladong introduces the party to Viscount Ambrosious Quorin. He says that Thirst the Sprite took his Staff of Law and is using it to wreak havoc on the Feywild. So he takes them to the Sprite and they kill him. It's a lot of fun.


  • Greg is Tim's dad's name, and Ben is his brother's name
  • They all have inspiration for singing. Bachmann is in a permanent state of inspiration, as he never uses it
  • Skud's skeletons can talk, Michael confirmed it!!!
  • Skud doesn't have Haste
  • I believe this is the first time a player has played another player's character
  • This is the best episode ever
  • VAQ reveals that when he dies, he is sent to the "realm of the nine hells", where he must wait for one year before he can return
    • VAQ he also reveals that this happened recently
  • Tim reveals that Rowan speaks seven languages, and lays them out for everyone: Abyssal, Common, Deepspeech, Elven, Primordial, Sylvan, and Undercommon. He uses all of them to say "Eat my Ass!"
  • This is would have been the fifth (?) Mike Bachmann character to die

Quest Log Updates

  • [NEW][Complete] - Stop Thirst


  • Lahni rolls Animal Handling to ride a giant snake - 19+4
    • She rides that snake

Combat Begins vs Four Sprites

Because fuck Michael, I will refer to the characters as their soul/personality. As in, Jennifer rolls a 2, so Rowan rolls a 2, even though it's Toby's body attacking. Michael, I'm sorry I said "fuck Michael" before. You know I love you.

  • Initiative
    • Lahni - 19
    • Pibb
    • Skud - 14
    • VAQ - 13
    • Rowan - 11
    • Toby - 8

Round One

  • Lahni
    • Casts Chill Touch on Pibb - 22
      • Hit - 15 necrotic damage

  • Pibb
    • Stabs Skud x3 - 16, <16, 26
      • Miss, Miss, Hit - 8 piercing damage

  • Skud
    • Punches Pibb - 16
      • Hit - 14 damage - kills it
    • Uses a ki point to punch twice and imposes disadvantage - But I think we collectively forgot about punch two

  • VAQ
    • Approaches calmly, then casts ???, requiring DC 22 CON saving throws from all three of them - <22, <22, <22
      • Fail, Fail, Fail - 19 damage to each - kills all three of them

Combat Ends

  • Lahni does an Arcana check to see what spell VAQ did - 3
    • She doesn't know

  • Toby rolls Stealth to sneak ahead - Nat1
    • Fail - He makes a ton of noise

  • Thirst makes a WIS saving throw against VAQ - 32!
    • Success

Combat Begins vs Thirst

  • Initiative
    • VAQ - Nat20+3
    • Skud - 17
    • Toby - 17
    • Lahni - 14
    • Rowan - 11

Round One

  • VAQ
    • Splits into four versions of himself
    • Casts a spell on Thirst, requiring a CON saving throw - 22
      • Success - 8 damage

  • Skud
    • Punches Thirst with flair x4 - 13+11, 18+11, 4+11, 6+11
      • Hit, Hit, Miss, Miss - 19 damage

  • Toby
    • Uses Rowan's Dancing Rapier as a bonus action - 15
      • Miss
    • Draws her Oathbow - bad, 20
      • Miss, Hit - 13 damage + 4 damage
    • Runs, hides behind a tree

  • Lahni
    • Casts Spiritual Weapon (at eight level) AND Chill Touch - 13+9
      • Hit - 12 necrotic damage
    • Attacks with Spiritual Weapon - 4+9
      • Miss

  • Rowan
    • Casts Lightning Bolt - 27 (it's supposed to be a DEX saving throw)
      • Hit - 26 damage - kills him!

Combat Ends