Episode 278 - Heaven Can Wait

From DnD Podcast
Jump to: navigation, search
Jett dgaf
"Heh. How my ass taste?" ~ Rowan Grey


Episode 278 - Heaven Can Wait

Having narrowly avoided the sea of Gruumsh’s massive army we now have to deal with those pesky bad bois who are climbing over the wall right in front of us. Sure, enemies are swarming everywhere but we are here and I think we can help this section. And then who knows, maybe we can help the next section too! And then the next. Or we could solve larger problems and avoid this large war…yeah let’s do that.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

The Tower of Grey is met by the bear-headed guard. He tells Toby to get rid of his fortress Library's Lance, as some orcs are using it to jump over the walls. He does so, but several orcs have already come over the edge. There is a small battle. The bear headed dude calls over some other animal-headed friends. Kat, who has a lion head, Milky has a weasely/ferrety head with pure white fur, and Keeso has a wolf head. They fight with the bear dude to clear out some orcs. Eventually, the inside of the city is orc free.

Rowan approaches the Bear-headed dude, and the group collectively asks wtf? Why is there an orc war? Bear-head responds that Pelor, the ruler of Elysium, has vanished. He introduces himself, finally, as Ursus Bearnabus, and leaves. Lahni asks the group if there is someone who would want to kidnap gods, as there seems to be a lot of that going around these days. Rowan suggests Lolth's involvment, but Toby informs them that Lolth is more an opportunist, and likely took advantage of the situation that was probably started by someone else. As they postulate (a disgusting word), they are led away from the wall by Keeso, who asks what they are doing here. Skud says that they are here to make him the strongest skeleton trainer in the land, but the other refute him. Rowan, as the leader, begins to explain their situation, and Toby Messages her, telling her not to mention The Orb. Upon bringing up her nephew Prince Thom Harper, Keeso tells her that he knows the boy, that he's staying in the castle, spending time with his father. Also, his aunt was here, but now she's gone.

Keeso leads them through the streets of the Last Respite, which is currently in a tizzy due to the Orc attacks. It's all very Minas Tirith-y, with streets made of white marble, and very clean. A lot of people in the city all seem to follow the motif of having animal heads, on anthropomorphic bodies, but there are also people-looking people. Also, celestials. Toby remembers reading that when people of Drunkeros die, they are sent to the realm of the Raven Queen, whereupon they are chosen by the gods on where to go next. Typically, their alignment dictates their after-life. When Pelor accepts you into Elysium, you can merge with him to become a Celestial, which is basically a ghost. You won't be able to do much, but you could watch over family or loved ones, eventually fading into becoming one with Pelor.

Eventually, they get to the highest room of the tallest tower, and are led into the solar, where they see Prince Thom Harper!


The Tower of Grey join the forces of the Elysiumians, fighting off some orcs that they accidentally let in. After clearing them out, they are led into the city, into the tallest tower, where they find Prince Thom Harper!


  • Skud's skeletons wear crop tops that say different things, such as "THOT" and "Pink"
  • The guards of the Last Respite are references to characters from a tv show called Letterkenny
  • The animal-headed people used to be people before coming here. It's essentially furry heaven
  • They meet Sal, the Street Meat Vendor. This was a character from Glaine, the Jewel of the East that the group met in Episode 215 - In the Peaceful Land of the Enemy
    • Michael says that Jett Razor's ship fell on him, but that ship was stolen by Toby and is now Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, so that seems wrong
      • It turns out that only a part of the ship fell on Sal's head, but I don't wanna delete what I wrote up there. I spent some time writing it, and it's got pertinent information so I think I'll just leave it

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 11
    • Bachmann - 4
    • Jennifer - 9
    • Nika - 5

Combat Begins vs Orcs

  • Initiative
    • Rowan - 21
    • Lahni - 20
    • Toby - 14
    • Bachmann - 9

Round One

  • Rowan
    • Casts Conjure Barrage, requiring DC 17 DEX saving throw
      • 12 damage to those who fail, some of which fall off the wall
    • Also uses Dancing Rapier - 26
      • Hit - 6 damage

  • Lahni
    • Uses Drunken Frenzy to attack three nearby orcs - 14, 28, 17
      • Miss, Hit, Hit - 13+7 damage

  • Orc
    • Melee Attack vs Lahni (greataxe) (x2) - 20, <20
      • Miss, Miss

  • Toby
    • Casts Fireball, requiring DC 20 DEX saving throw from all three, and Lahni
      • All three orcs fail - 25 damage
      • Lahni - 22
        • Success

  • Orc
    • Melee Attack vs Rowan (greataxe) (x2) - 20, 18
      • Hit, Hit - 28 damage

  • Skud
    • Commands his two bow and arrow skeletons to fire - 18, 21
      • Hit, Hit - 3+8 damage
    • Casts Chill Touch - 22
      • Hit - 21 damage - kills him
    • A Third Skeleton uses the Skud Missile wand, casting three Magic Missiles - 4+5+3 damage

  • Orc
    • Melee Attack vs Skeleton (greataxe) - 19
      • Hit - 14 slashing damage - kills him

Round Two

  • Rowan
    • Casts Hail of Thornes on her bow, then makes a ranged attack with it (x2) - 15, 31
      • Miss, Hit - they have to make DEX saving throws - 21 damage to one, 15 to another - kills them both
        • Also, Lahni had to make a DEX saving throw - 24

  • Toby rolls a History to see if he knows anything about the denizens of Elysium - 23
    • He knows about the death process, as detailed above