Episode 279 - A Complicated Heaven

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Skud Derringer, surrounded by his skele-bros

"He's not allowed to have hugs or candies, and you did both!" ~ Toby Treacletart, or is it Tim?

"Thom, I need to you to go in the other room. I've gotta talk with these people for a minute. Go and have some more sweeties. I'll give you a hug later." ~ The Late King Titus Harper


Episode 279 - A Complicated Heaven

Turns out one of the more important aspects of Elysium is missing. It is kinda like going to Disneyland and finding out Mickey Mouse was murdered…After weighing our options I guess we are the ones to solve this problem especially since this cursed orb keeps bringing us to terrible places. Sure, all of this is very difficult but if we heroes don’t do something then I guess everyone will die? Maybe? I am pretty sure the leaders of hell would not be super chill as rulers.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Having just met up with the missing Prince Thom Harper, Rowan expresses her surprise at seeing him here. He tells them that the was brought here by Lady Adira Harper, his aunt, not against his will. She told him they were going to see his father, Adira's brother, King Titus Harper, who the young prince has been spending time with. Apparently, dying has changed him, but he is still the same person. Also, when Adira took him, she told him not to tell his mother, Queen Ashayara Dayne, where they were going. That "The snow meant that it was dangerous." Rowan informs him that they have stopped the snow when they helped Melora defeat Lolth. There's a loud clanging, crashing sound from outside, which is apparently just the orc war that no-one's really concerned about? They instead ask Thom about Pelor's disappearance. Thom responds that he's met Pelor, as well as Eckhart Dayhammer, who was here at a giant feast, but he's gone. Does this mean Eckhart isn't dead, since he left? Who's to say. Two of Pelor's guards were killed, but they were able to be brought back to life. They are probably down in the infirmary, so the Tower of Grey decides to go down there to find them.

They head down to THE Temple of Pelor, the big one. The official, main, Temple to the God who shows up at it, Pelor. It's like the Vatican. Or Dollywood. There's a receptionist with a horse head, who tells them that they can't see the guards, as they are still asleep/recovering, but they can talk to the head healer guy, Father Tierney. He seems... cordial. Rowan asks him if they can speak with the two dead guards about Pelor's disappearance. He says that they aren't feeling up to it, probably, but he sneaks them in anyway. They are Tilly and Donnybrooke (?). Skud's skele-bros help comfort them, and Rowan asks them about Pelor. Unfortunately, they were already dead when Pelor was taken. Someone threw a bag over their heads and beat them to death while they were in their room, right before their shift. One of the people who did it were wearing a guard's outfit. It seems she left before the big feast. This was a few days before Pelor went missing, apparently from his bedroom, which there might be clues in. The Tower of Grey decides to go up there to find them.

Back in the palace, Skud leads them to Pelor's bedroom, outside of which two guards are posted. Skud tells them that Father Tierney told them to come here, and Toby casts Minor Illusion to make his voice command them. They don't buy it. After a lot of this, Lahni quickly runs into the room without them noticing, but she doesn't see anything out of the ordinary. She returns, and, seeing no benefit to trying to get in, they all decide to leave, to find Titus Harper. If they can't find him, Lahni suggests finding Sal, the street meat vendor, and disguise him as the late King. Toby is nervous, as he greatly admires Harper. Probably, Titus Harper will have returned to his son, Prince Thom Harper's room by now. The Tower of Grey decides to go back there to find them.

They enter the door to Thom's room and find him at a table next to a very distinguished looking ghostly figure. They are doing a puzzle together. Thom, excitedly, says that he's "found a corner piece, daddy!" At long last, this is the late King Titus Harper. Rowan and Harper are happy to see each other, and Toby is freaking out. Harper sends Baby Harper out of the room. Toby and Harper meet, and Toby is, once again, freaking out. Rowan tries to touch his arm, but it kind of phases through. Harper signs Toby's spellbook, telling the gnome that he senses great power in him, which causes Toby to burst into tears. Rowan introduces him to Lahni ("I punch, I kick, I go fast. And sometimes, eat ass -- No.") and Skud ("Hi, I'm Skud. I'm gonna be the best bone-mancer in the whole world."). Skud asks Harper if he wants to be resurrected, but he's at peace here, and that it will soon be time to move on. He asks them to please return Thom back to his mother, Queen Ashayara Dayne. They ask why Adira Harper brought Thom here in the first place, to which Daddy Harper responds that she believed there was some giant conspiracy going on. It has something to do with the Circle of Seven. They've heard of this circle, and know that Bigby is somehow involved, but it is shrouded in mystery. Adira believed that this conspiracy could result in everyone in the world being destroyed!


Thom Harper tells the crew that Adira Harper brought him here, but she left. Also, Pelor has gone missing. Two guards that were supposed to watch him were beaten to death, but they were brought back to life, so the crew goes down to talk to them. They don't have much information, but the crew does learn that Pelor was taken from his bedroom. They go there, but it's guarded by guards, so they return to Prince Thom, who is hanging out with his father, King Titus Harper. TH tells them that Adira brought Thom here because she believed that there was some plot, involving the Circle of Seven, to destroy everyone in the world!


  • With all the talk of Titus Harper being around, Bachmann suggests that his right hand minotaur also be around somewhere
  • This episode is bullshit because Thom Harper calles them "candies" instead of "sweeties", so, I'm gonna stop listening to the show. Sorry, everyone.
  • The receptionist in the Temple of Pelor is thought to be the same as the receptionist from the Temple of Erathis who dropped her tea that one time
    • She does talk like Roz from Monsters Inc.
  • Everything is free in Elysium
  • Skud assigns everyone skeleton companions
    • Toby gets Fumiko (?)
      • The crop top now says "Sweet"
    • Lahni gets Kimeko (?)
      • The crop top now says "Spicy"
    • Rowan gets Akio (?)
      • The crop top now says "Savory"
  • Tim had a Batman sub-story planned out for Harper, but it never came up

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Jennifer - 10
    • Tim - 6
    • Nika - 6
    • Bachmann - 2

  • Rowan rolls History to see what she knows about a knight in golden armor - Nat20
    • Success - She knows Eckhart Dayhammer, and his shiny golden armor

  • Rowan rolls Persuasion to convince the receptionist to let them talk to the newly alive guards - 23
    • She tells them that they are asleep

  • Skud rolls to see if his skeletons can heal the two guards - 12
    • They're doing great

  • Skud rolls Religion to pray if he can go into Pelor's room - 27
    • He knows right where his room is, from the Pelor bible

  • Skud rolls Deception to tell the guards outside Pelor's room that they have a reason to be there, with Disadvantage - 2
    • Fail

  • Skud then rolls Religion to see if he knows anyone who he could name drop - 18
    • He remembers they just talked to Father Tierney

  • Skud rolls Deception again, this time without Disadvantage - 15
    • Fail

  • Rowan rolls Persuasion - Nat1
    • Sigh

  • Lahni rolls Stealth to Flash-speed into the room unnoticed - Nat1 - uses inspiration - 17+11
    • Success - She's in

  • Lahni rolls Investigation to check the room - 3-1
    • She sees nothing out of place

  • Toby does a History check to see what he knows about the Circle of Seven - 19
    • He's heard the name before