Episode 283 - Once More Into the Bone Cage

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"Fuckin' let us go, you... fuckin' fuck. I... fuckin' hate you. It's fuckin' bullshit, and you're gonna fuckin' die." ~ Tyson or perhaps Gagney

"I just realized that, Michael, you will say something, and then, you say it again in simple terms for us, and thank you for that." ~ Nika Howard


Episode 283 - Once More Into the Bone Cage

When suspects flee the scene of a crime you gotta throw them into the – Bone Cage. That is how justice is served in a helpful non-lethal way. Plus these two knuckle heads had something to do with the disappearance of a god, so that is a huge no-no in pretty much every realm. But they are very powerful, but will they be powerful enough to destroy the bone cage? Who knows!? The bone cage is vague and loose in game stats so you just kinda gotta wing it.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

  • Gagney and Tyson
  • Sal, the Street Meat Vendor



Long Story

Gruumsh One-Eye's army of Orcs has breached the wall of the city The Last Respite, in Elysium. Toby Treacletart has taken the form of Yazdir Dosh, the dragon. He uses Frightful Presence to scare everyone out of the tavern, Modean 7. Rowan finds the two suspicious guards from before, Gagney and Tyson, and asks them where they're going. They want to leave, but Rowan attempts to strong-arm them into staying and fighting, using Skud('s bonecage) and Lahni to help scare them. They are resistant so naturally, a fight breaks out. Lahni ties their feet together so they can't run away, and Skud uses his skele-bros to form the bone cage around the two of them, so they are well and truly boned, hahaha. Meanwhile, outside, Toby, having taken the form of Yazdir Dosh, rallies the troops and paralyzes a bunch of orcs, then uses the dragon Shape Change ability to appear as Doug the Dark Elf. Back in the bar, the "heroes" wail on the two restrained guards until eventually Gagney is knocked unconsious, and Tyson surrenders, promising to tell them what he knows.


Rowan, Skud, and Lahni beat up on the two suspicious guards, Gagney and Tyson, while Toby, as Yazdir, rallies the troops outside. Eventually, Gagney is knocked out and Tyson promises to tell them everything


  • During the initiative, Skud has his skeletons take the form of a cage, but they still have arms and weapons. So they move as one, but they can attack separately
  • Tim's Toby's Yazdir's Doug the Dark Elf form uses the stats of Jarlaxle, a famous D&D NPC LOL

Quest Log Updates


  • Rowan rolls Perception to find Gagney and Tyson - 27
    • They are trying to blend in with the crowd

Combat begins vs Gagney and Tyson

  • Initiative
    • Rowan - 21
    • Skud - Nat20
    • Lahni - 13
    • Skele-bros (cage form) - 13
    • Gagney
    • Tyson
    • Toby (outside, not really in battle, but exists)

Round One

  • Rowan
    • Casts Ensnaring Strike on the two
    • Melee attack (Dancing Rapier) vs Gagney - 26
      • Hit - 10 piercing damage, must make a DC 17 STR saving throw due to the Ensnaring Strike - 16
        • Fail - he is restrained

  • Skud
    • Casts Bestow Curse on Tyson, requiring a DC 18 WIS saving throw - < 18
      • Fails - he is cursed, and must make a similar throw at the start of each of Tyson's turns, or lose a turn, essentially

  • Lahni
    • Ties two of their legs together, using an attack roll - 29
      • Success - they are restrained and tied together

  • Skele-bros
    • Closes the the bone cage around them, using a grapple
      • Against Gagney - 19+4
        • He is grappled
      • Against Tyson - 17+4
        • He is grappled as well
    • We later learn that the Tower of Grey are trapped in the cage as well

  • Gagney
    • Rolls his WIS saving throw -

  • Tyson?
    • Rolls his WIS saving throw? - 17
      • Fails - looses a turn

It's god-damn 3:18 in the freakin AM while I'm writing this, and this is some D&D-ass D&D they're playing, so excuse me if this makes little to no sense, or is blatheringly unintelligible

  • Gagney
    • Takes 2 damage from Rowan's thing
    • Melee Attack (sword) vs Lahni (x2) - <25, 25
      • Miss, Hit - has to make a CON saving throw - 20 slashing damage, isn't hurt by the poison that's totally on the blade

  • Toby (as Yazdir, not in tavern)
    • Rolls Persuasion to strengthen the defending forces - 12
      • He feels like everyone is pretty inspired
    • Uses his draconic Paralyzing Breath, requiring any creatures within to make a DC 20 saving throw - one makes it through, the others don't
    • Jumps down and uses the Draconic ability to Change Shape into Doug the Dark Elf
    • Shoots the remaining orc with three huge arrows - 30 damage or whatever. Things are weird, you guys...

Round Two

  • Rowan
    • Rolls Persuasion to get the to talk, not fight - 16
      • An opposed roll - He seems pretty mean
    • Ranged Attack (Un-oathed Oathbow) vs Gagney (x2) - Nat20, 29
      • Hit, Hit - 15 piercing damage + 12 radiant damage

  • Skud
    • Uses Investigation to see what Gagney and Tyson's whole situation is - 19
      • He can tell that their name patches were taken off and sewn on clumsily
    • Gives Sanctuary to Rowan

  • Lahni
    • Punches both of them
      • Against Gagney - 16
        • Hit - 14 damage - knocks him out
      • Against Tyson - 2
        • Hit - 11 damage - surrenders

Combat Ends