Episode 292 - The Sausage Heist

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Rowan's new friend Verona

"Treacletarts have an indomitable spirit!" ~ Snatch Treacletart

"And then I pick him up, and throw him like a volleyball!" ~ Jennifer Cheek, 2018


Episode 292 - The Sausage Heist

When you have nothing to work with in a magical super prison you have to latch onto the small victories. Maybe you get a small rock or a sharpened toothbrush. Who knows what a level 17 adventurer could do with that? Baby steps is the name of the game. Plus, you have to keep your moral up in a place like this. And nothing would make me and my buds happier than that sausage platter over there. I think that guard has a plate of 90 sausages…that is so many.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

The Tower of Grey is sitting in the cafeteria, having just eaten Toby's delicious beans. Toby asks his brother Snatch where they could find corn (which Lahni needs for the library), and Snatch tells them that it's grown in the garden, though they are unlikely to be able to get it. Rowan thinks that her new friend Verona could help. Lahni asks Skud if either Jimmy Skaags or The Baus could help get their blood back. Jimmy doesn't doesn't know, and The Baus, it seems, doesn't care. Skud/Bachmann reminds them that their best bet on finding the blood is Josail Longshadow, the Warden of Grull. Toby asks Snatch if they ever get free time, so they can all check out the library. Snatch reminds them that they can only have access to the library if they are on good behavior for 5 years, and only three people have ever had that. Also, they get free time on the 1st of every month, for two hours, out on the yard. And today is the 3rd. On an unrelated note, there are rumors that they keep super important/high-level prisoners on the lower levels. Meanwhile, Stymer Dunkan is eating a ton of sausage, staring right at Toby. There is much discussion.

Tomorrow, Rowan is going to try to flirt with Verona, to the end of getting some corn. Toby wants to see if there are sausage casings in a garbage can. The plan, after some deliberation, will be to have Lahni throw Toby into the trash can, and in the ensuing commotion, Rowan will grab a sausage casing. But then, Lahni remembers that Lahni can run fast. So she will grab one off the table, while Rowan throws Toby in the trash, to distract Stymer Dunkan. Meanwhile, Skud will, at Rowan's suggestion, tell the guard that something is going down, to help with the distraction. Lahni reasons that this will curry him favor with the guards. With the plan in place, the operation commences.

Rowan stands and yells, "No one makes better beans than my mom!" and throws him into the garbage cans. She thens runs after him into the trash can. Skud approaches Dunkan and tries to tell him about the ongoing situation. But Dunkan reminds Skud how much he doesn't like rats, and hits him again. Lahni uses this to try to grab as many sausages as she can. She is successful, and rearranges the remaining sausages, so as not to look suspicious. Meanwhile, Dunkan goes to the trash can and lifts Toby out of it, seconds after Toby finds a sharpened toothbrush, and pockets it. Dunkan tells Toby to never interrupt him while he's eating, and spikes him super hard into the ground (5 bludgeoning damage). He goes back to his sausages, claiming that he is finally going to beat the 90 sausage challenge. Lahni, deciding that she hasn't been hit yet, asks him what the prize is. Dunkan tells her, with an ice cold look, that Josail Longshadow will let him eat one of the prisoners. For some reason, this prompts Lahni to reach out and touch one of the sausages. Because he's in such a fucking good mood, Dunkan merely commands Lahni to return to her seat, which she does, again, without breaking eye contact.

Back at the table, Toby gives Rowan the shank he found. Lahni sneaks Rowan the sausages, so their fuckin doing it. Later that night, Rowan and roommate Nibor Worra enjoy eating the sausages, to get the casings. Snatch and Toby bond and reconnect. Skud and Jimmy Skaags meet The Baus, who gives Skud a pack of Smokes, as well as a new job...


There's a lot of planning this episode, where each character decides what their next moves will be. They decide they need Rowan's bow, so they will have to get the sausage casings. Luckily, Stymer Dunkan is there, with a big plate of sausages, so Rowan throws Toby into the garbage to cause a distraction. Dunkan goes over there, while Lahni steals a bunch of the sausages. Toby finds a shank, and hides it, before getting hit by Dunkan. Lahni decides she wants to make friends with Dunkan before they escape. Toby gives Rowan the shank, and Lahni gives her the sausages. She takes it back to Nibor Worra to make the bow. They both enjoy the sausages. Skud and Jimmy Skaags meet up with The Baus, who gives Skud a pack of "Smokes", and is about to give him his new assignment...


  • If you find Bachmann during GeeklyCon 2019, he will give you $1,000
  • This is the third episode in a row that Nika rolled the same as another cast member. The first two times, it was Bachmann, this time it was Jennifer
  • People all the time try to escape Grull, and all of them are killed, by taken to the yard and burned. That's actually what all the ash from before is
  • Toby's siblings, in order, are: Snatch, Brea, Pan, Toby, and Sams. His parents are Arleton and Contessa. His great-grandfather is Warley. I'm not sure how much of this was already known

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 2
    • Bachmann - 11
    • Jennifer - 14 - roll-off - 9
    • Nika - 14 - roll-off - 11

  • Toby rolls Performance to assist Rowan - 2
    • Nope

  • Rowan rolls Performance to cause a distraction - 20
    • Success

  • Skud rolls Persuasion to get Stymer to look away - 12
    • Doesn't work, gets hit for 9 bludgeoning damage

  • Lahni rolls Stealth to steal some sausages - 11+14
    • She is able to grab a bunch of them

  • Toby rolls Investigation to see if there is anything interesting in the trash can - Nat 20+12
    • He finds a sharpened toothbrush, which he takes