Episode 293 - One More Quick Thing about Corn

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"Wow! You didn't even give me time to misunderstand what you were saying!" ~ Skud Derringer

"Wait a second, let's take this back to why the fuck we're here right now. Where the fuck is Pelor?" ~ Rowan Grey


Episode 293 - One More Quick Thing about Corn

Slowly but surely the gang is getting their footing in this terrible prison. But, they need to make sure they do not botch this up since they will only have one real chance to grab the blood or the book before the guards get wise and do something about it. Maybe it is losing some of their magical abilities but it looks like our heroes are showing some restraint for the first time ever. But as we are finding out making allies in this place is just as dangerous as fighting a large Slaad. Luckily we have all these tasty and nutritious beans and corns. Well, the corn isn’t for us... but still.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Skud is meeting with The Baus, along with his cell-mate, Jimmy Skaags. The Boss tells Skud that he has another job, a way of testing Skud's resolve. He asks him to kill Stymer Dunkan, the mean guard everyone hates. He gives Skud a dagger laced with an incredibly potent poison, that will kill the victim instantly. He also gives Skud 3 days to do the deed. If he can, The Baus may provide Skud with a map to their missing blood. The next morning, it is breakfast time. Toby gets there early, to help with breakfast, and of course, he can't help but make his beans really good again smh. Ruby approaches, and compliments them, but then pours them out into the garbage! They argue before making a compromise; Toby will make the beans less delicious, but more nutritious. He is able to go back out to eat with the other prisoners, where the party meets up with each other.

Everyone debriefs, with Skud telling them that he has to kill Stymer Dunkan. They all seem happy about this, since he sucks, except for Lahni, who really wants Dunkan to be her friend, so is slightly anti-guard-murder. As she protests, the very man himself passes by, pushing Lahni's breakfast tray off the table with his baton, that douche. After he leaves, they all talk about what to do next. Skud suggests they use the poison to kill The Baus instead, but they aren't sure if the dagger is truly poisoned, or if that was another lie. After some discussion, everyone turns their collective attentions to the reason they are here; the missing god Pelor. They know that the higher level prisoners are kept in a lower section of the prison, and that there is a changing of the guard that happens twice a day. A bunch of guards emerge from a giant door, which is then closed and, presumably, sealed. Skud suggests getting sent down to the lower levels by doing something bad enough, perhaps killing Dunkan? He then comes up with a plan: Someone cause a distraction (again), Dunkan will (hopefully) go investigate, and while he's there, someone stealthy, or sleight of hand-y, will nick him with the dagger while he's distracted. Toby suggests Rowan, being the sneakiest, hide underneath a bench he is about to sit in, and stab him when he sits down. Just then, the work bell rings, signalling the end of breakfast. Everyone goes off to work.

Rowan returns to the fields, and actually puts in some hard work, before one of the guards tells her that Verona requests her to bring more lemonade. She takes it, and goes over there. Verona and Rowan talk some more, Rowan learning that Verona has a similar status to The Baus. Information is power, and Verona has a lot of it. Rowan offers Verona her services, which Verona rejects, but asks if Rowan needs anything from her. Rowan (being wary of Reggie, Verona's bodyguard) asks if she knows The Baus. She does, and they aren't friends. Rowan tells her that The Baus has asked Skud to kill Stymer Dunkan, really laying down all her cards, there. Verona is convinced that Skud will surely die trying, but Rowan assures her that they are competent adventurers. She makes one final request of the woman before leaving; she asks if Verona can get her some corn. Verona points out a corn field right next to them, then tells her to think on her toes. Verona yells for the guards! They run over, Rowan slyly saunters away, makes sure she's not being followed, then bolts for the corn, stealthily. She is successful in sneaking in and steals 2 ears of corn, while also noticing a hidden area in the center. There are large, purple, spiky mushrooms sprouting up. One of them makes a weird sneezing sound, and a cloud of spores puffs out into the air. It smells pretty nice. Rowan is nervous about this and runs off.

Meanwhile, Toby speaks to Ruby again, asking if she has any crimes for him to do. She does not. Toby has made a shirt that says he has the best brother in the world, and a shirt for Snatch that says "Me Too!" Toby then steals some of his delicious beans from the garbage and pockets them.

That day at lunch, Toby hands out his garbage pocket beans, and the party has a prolonged talk about corn (hence the name of the episode). Rowan gives Lahni both of the corn ears. She then tells everyone what she discussed with Verona, mostly that Skud might die if he gets involved with The Baus. She also tells them of the mushrooms, which Toby recognizes as Sneezewart. He wants those mushrooms for his potions when they get out, so he tells Rowan to bribe Verona with some beans, so she'll give her the 'shrooms. They go back to the The Baus situation. Skud wants to kill not Dunkan, but the Baus himself, worried he'll be killed if he doesn't. They decide to investigate the dagger, to see if it is, perchance, a trap. With Toby's help, Skud is able to search the dagger, and does find something sinister! If someone is stabbed, it releases a secret compartment, with another pointy prick on the handle, presumably also poisoned. It seems that if someone stabs someone else with it, both will die...


The Baus tells Skud that his next job is to kill Stymer Duknan. He gives Skud a poisoned dagger for the job. Skud tells the others about this, and they discuss how to do it. At work, Rowan asks Verona about The Baus. Verona doesn't like him, and warns her that Skud may die working for him. She also helps Rowan steal some corn for Lahni. At lunch, Rowan tells them that Skud is in danger, and gives Lahni the corn. Suspicious, Skud checks the dagger, and discovers that it is trapped. It seems that if someone stabs someone else with it, both will die...


  • Toby has to wake up early to go to the kitchens, which is truly the worst thing about this hell prison
  • Tim rolls 2 Natural 20s in a row!
    • No 3 of them!!
  • Rowan is wearing a tank top, with her prison jumpsuit tied around her waist
  • Toby hates corn, and his eighth favorite mushroom is Sneezewart
  • He makes a t-shirt for Rowan that says, "I went to prison and all I got was a best friend!"

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Nika - 14
    • Bachmann - 6
    • Tim - Nat20 - Chooses Michael
    • Jennifer - 4

  • Toby rolls Alchemy to make the beans good again - Nat20
    • They're the best Uthgar-damned beans anyone's ever tasted

  • Toby rolls Something to resist his blood curse and cast Telekinesis on the beans - Nat20!
    • It doesn't work, but the beans do hover a bit before falling

  • Toby rolls Alchemy to see if the dagger is, in fact, poisoned - 15+like 10
    • It does have something on it, but he can't tell if it's poison

  • Rowan rolls Stealth with Advantage to sneak into the corn field - 29
    • She does that

  • Toby rolls Arcana to know about Rowan's strange mushrooms - 15
    • He recognizes her description of Sneezewart

  • Toby rolls Investigation to assist Skud - 22
    • It works

  • Skud rolls Perception to see if the dagger is boobytrapped in some way (with Advantage) - 18+8, 19+8
    • The dagger IS boobytrapped!