Episode 294 - Much Ado About Beans

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"Bercy, I gotta tell ya a little secret real fast. Um, I got corn, I'm gonna give it to the raven, so it'll tell us how to get back between the restricted book area. I need you to be okay with this, please." ~ Lahni Caplain


Episode 294 - Much Ado About Beans

Now that Skud has low friends in high places things continue to get dicey. Especially since we can’t really trust all these damn low friends. Not surprising but still so dang disappointing! Anyways, we are closing in on several of our small time goals in the big house so I got a feeling we are going to breaking out of this damn place soon! Hell yea!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

The episode starts after the revelation that Skud's dagger, the one given to him by The Baus as a means to kill the guard Stymer Dunkan, is actually a trap, intended to kill whomever does the stabbing, as well as the stabbed. The party then discusses what their next move should be. Skud wants to try to disarm the trap, since they aren't going to be able to use the trap on someone else without giving away the dagger. Toby really wants to somehow put the poison in someone's food, but they don't know how. Lahni, who is immune to poison damage, actives the trap without pricking herself, so they can study the trap. A tiny needle pops out. They discuss how they can use this to kill The Baus. Maybe there needs to be some kind of ambush? Rowan with her bow will be hiding out, ready to attack, while Skud offers some of Toby's delicious beans that has the poisoned needle in it? Rowan is also distrustful of Jimmy Skaags, Skud's cellmate, who is in The Baus's good graces. Skud says that's fine, they'll just have to kill him, too. Probably they can use the dagger more than once, right? Anyway, they decide that it might be a good idea for Lahni to first get the book, Oric's Compendium of Alchemical Tinctures and Solves from the Library. She will have to give the corn she got from Rowan to the raven first. They decide to do that during their afternoon work session, which begins now. But at that moment, several guards enter, announcing a surprise contraband check. Among them, of course is Stymer Dunkan, that piece of shit.

Skud has the dagger, Lahni has the corn and some sausage she stole from Dunkan, Rowan probably has her shiv, and who knows how many beans Toby has tucked away in his person. It's probably fair to say that he is more bean than gnome at this point. The guards begin to pat inmates down as they are leaving the cafeteria. Rowan decides to user her supremem stealthing abilities to hide under the table, undetected. She takes with her Skud's dagger, Toby's beans, and basically everything except half a sausage that Lahni has, and the other half that Skud has. He plants it on the prisoner in front of him, the same prisoner that he tried to rat out to Stymer Dunkan way way back in Episode 291 - First Days on the Job. Dunkan pats this prisoner down and discovers the sausage on him. The man, Roger, apparently, has no idea where the sausage came from, and it seems like Dunkan is about to do something bad. Fortunately, it is Roger's birthday, and Dunkan lets it slide. Maybe he's not all that bad after all.

Soon, Lahni's turn comes up. She has half a sausage, which she is able to hide from Dunkan. As she steps by, she "accidentally" steps on his toe, using the distraction to hid a half of her half-sausage in his pocket, unbeknownst. What follows is a mini Three Stooges bit. Angry, he tries to hit her, but she uses a Ki point to dodge out of the way. This makes Dunkan fall over, but Lahni reflexively reaches out and tries to soften his fall by grabbing him in the air or some shit? So, they're both falling. They tangle up together, and switch places, allowing, somehow, Dunkan to catch Lahni and pull her up before she hits the ground. Now both upright, and seeming to once again abide the laws of physics, the two gaze into each other's eyes for but a moment, before Dunkan snaps out of it. He lets her go and she goes.

As Toby passes by, he provokes Stymer Dunkan for some reason. He says, "Cool boots. Your mom buy them for you?". This, also, makes Dunkan mad, and tells him he's going to "The Hole"! He grabs Toby and pulls him out of the room. Snatch is there, and Toby notices that he looks very afraid. Everyone else just kind of leaves, the inspection over. Rowan uses this opportunity to duck out and give Lahni her corn back. She keeps the dagger, because she is going to use it to make some poisoned arrows for their confrontation with The Baus. Skud gets the pointy point from the dagger, because he's going to hide it in some beans to poison said Baus. They still have some of Toby's good beans that were thrown in the trash, so it's fine. With everyone holding on to their respective contraband, lunch ends, and everyone once again heads off to work.

Lahni and cellmate Bercy Hamhands are escorted down to the Library, where they once again meet Jeor, the librarian, and his scary raven who shrieks "Corn!" all the time. He (Jeor, not the raven) hands them shovels and tells them to start working on Sections A through F. Their job is to move the mushy, waterlogged books from one end of the library to the other. Lahni asks to "teach the raven some tricks", but Jeor denies her, saying that all it wants is corn, and if someone had that, it would be a problem. She goes back to work, waits a second, and then runs, very quickly, to the raven and back again, to see if Jeor notices. He does not, as he is falling asleep again. Lahni takes some corn and runs back, giving some to the raven. She returns to the bookshelves and leaves a trail of corn for the bird, with the hope that it will follow her. It does not. Instead of all this chicanery, Lahni runs to the raven and snatches it, bringing it back to Bercy. She explains the whole situation to the boxer, who is okay with it. Lahni then turns to the raven, and demands how to get into the restricted section. It continues to shriek "Corn!", She takes it to the restricted section and feeds it more corn. Nothing happens. Unsure of what to do, Lahni throws some corn into the bars and lets go of the bird, who flies back to the desk, lifts a key from around the sleeping Jeor's neck, and flies back to the bars. With the key, the bars open, and the raven, and Lahni are able to walk right in!

She is able to find the book, Oric's Compendium of Alchemical Tinctures and Solves, and takes it, replacing it with another book from the non-restricted section. She also grabs one of the other books there, a series detailing the adventures of The Scarlet Harlot. Cause you never know. She tells the raven to return the key, which it does, and then Lahni gives it the rest of the corn from that ear, but keeps another one. She then returns to work.

On her shift, Rowan steals some of that Sneezewart from the gardens.

Skud is trying to avoid Jimmy Skaags, but he's being reaaaaaal friendly.

Toby goes to "The Hole"! Actually, Stymer Dunkan takes him to the guards' quarters, where he compliments him on his funny joke. He offers to let Toby join in on their game of Three-Dragon Ante, but he has to tell everyone that he had a terrible time. Toby agrees, and looks around to see if there is anything of note. There isn't. After a while, they send him back on his way.

Back at dinner that night! Snatch and Toby reunite, Snatch concerned for his brother, who sneak him a pretzel. Toby doesn't even tell his friends about his good time. Lahni gives him the book, which he's excited about, and takes it to Steinar Ulth. Ulth agrees to smuggle it out. Toby then tries to come up with horrible things that might have happened to him in The Hole. He is unsuccessful.

Dinner ends. Toby and Steinar Ulth get to work on their potion, which consists of beans and Sneezewart. Meanwhile, Rowan sneaks over to Skud's room, cutting her hair to leave a decoy Rowan behind in bed. Skud and Jimmy have a conversation about bringing beans to The Baus, with Skud somehow convincing Jimmy to stay behind while he (and secretly Rowan), go in. This all happens. The two enter the room, and the Baus turns around in a swiveling chair and says, "I hope you have something good to tell me, Skud..."


The party discusses what to do next. Eventually, the plan is reached to have Rowan sneak over to Skud's room that night, and the two of them will fight and kill The Baus. Skud will try to use the needle that was the trap part of the dagger, and hide in some of Toby's delicious beans, and offer them to the Baus as a gift. If that doesn't work, Rowan will take him down with her newly made bow. Lunch ends with a surprise inspection. Rowan hides under a table with most of their contraband, but Skud tries to frame Roger, the prisoner he called out before, by dropping some sausage on him. Stymer Dunkan let's it pass, because it's his birthday. Also, Dunkan and Lahni share a tender moment, and Lahni hides some sausage in his pocket as well. Toby is taken to "The Hole", for mouthing off, but this turns out to be a lie, and Dunkan just takes him to play cards, because Toby is pretty cool. Rowan manages to steal some Sneezewart for Toby. Lahni goes to work at the library, and, after feeding the raven some corn, is able to sneak into the restricted section and steal the book. At dinner, Toby is given the book by Lahni, and the Sneezewart from Rowan. He gives the book to Steinar Ulth, and that night, Toby and Ulth begin creating the potion that will nullify the effects of the blood magic. Skud, accompanied by Rowan (with a new pixie cut), enters The Baus's room for their final (?) confrontation...


  • The episode Tim was thinking to start at was Episode 253 - Tower of Grey, which is the start of the current arc
  • Michael says that Niboar Woara's name backwards is something, which I'm assuming is Robin Arrow? Making the spelling of his name really "Nibor Worra". My bad
  • Lahni is immune to poison damage
  • Frank is in the infirmary
  • Most of the books in the restricted section are a series of novels about a character named the Scarlet Harlot

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Jennifer - 17
    • Nika - 19
    • Bachmann - 11
    • Tim - 14

  • Rowan does a Stealth check to Hide in Plain Sight under a table - 26
    • She is successfully hidden

  • Skud rolls Sleight of Hand (aided by Lahni) to plant a sausage on the prisoner in front of him - 28
    • He is successful

  • Lahni rolls Sleight of Hand to hid her half-sausage on Stymer Dunkan - 15
    • She successfully hides it

  • Lahni rolls Reflex, or something, to catch Stymer Dunkan and switch the fall with him? - 29
    • I don't goddam know. It works?

  • Lahni rolls Stealth to sneak around Jeor as a test - 29
    • She goes unnoticed, and the guy seems to be falling asleep

  • Lahni rolls Animal Handling to do the same thing, this time with corn to tempt the raven away (with adventage) - 9+5
    • The raven squawks and eats the first corn, but doesn't follow

  • Rowan rolls Stealth to steal some Sneezewart from the gardens - 27
    • She does that thing

  • Toby rolls Investigation to see if there is anything important to be found in the guards' quarters - Nat20
    • He finds several copies of The Adventures off the Scarlet Harlot

  • Rowan rolls Stealth to sneak away and into Skud's cell - 25
    • She sneaks away, cutting her hair to leave behind in bed

  • Skud rolls Persuasion to convince Jimmy Skaags to stay behind while Skud takes in the beans - 9+2
    • Uses Inspiraton - 13+2
      • It works!