Episode 318 - An Early End

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Bercy Hamhands/Percy Chickenfingers
"I have vault hearing, I can hear whatever happens inside of vaults" ~ Bachmann


Episode 318 - An Early End

Our heroes have found the location of the artifact, which is their whole reason for being in Hell. All they have to do is get into the vault, grab it, and they can dip out of this weird and creepy corporate hell-retreat. Maybe this arc will end up being a short one after all!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

  • Four guards, I guess



Long Story

The Tower of Grey are standing outside The Vault, and an alarm is blaring, so they need to get through it quickly. Toby wants to use Dimension Door to get in, so he casts Wish to cast Dimension Door. He touches the door, which is warm. Worried about Toby potentially dying, Skud heals him some more, and offers to send in Fumiko, one of his skeleton companions. Unfortunately, Toby can't send someone else through his Dimension Door. After hesitating for a while, Toby sends himself 10 ft forward.

In The Vault, he sees he is standing on piles of gold. It's electrified. He tries to jump out of the way, but is unable. Skud's healing saves him, but he's hurting. He sees the pyramid 60 ft away. He Levitates himself, and floats toward it. He puts his hair clip into his mouth, which serves as a Re-Breather, in case of poisonous gases. He makes another DEX saving throw, to avoid the room filling with fire! This reduces his health enough to "kill" him. He falls to the ground. Needle in the Hay begins playing.

Outside, the rest of the party hears footsteps running toward them. Four robo-guards enter! Lahni vibrates to invisibility, and fails to hit the bot. Another blasts them with its Thunder Cannon. It hits all three of them. Lahni is fine, but Skud goes down. This has the potential to be a Total Party Kill, my friends! Another bot shoots acid from his chest, hitting Rowan and Skud's skeletons. They are destroyed, but their dying action is lay across Skud, saving him from being hit again. He then fails a death saving throw. Rowan uses her Oathbow and Dancing Rapier to fight off the robots, but falls due to the damage she took from the sprayed acid, leaving only Lahni conscious. Another bot hits Lahni, even though she's invisible. With seemingly no hope, Lahni surrenders, raising her hands and getting to the ground. She is then, arrested.


Toby jumps into the vault, sees the pyramid, and immediately fuckin dies. Outside the vault, unaware of Toby's fate, the party is attacked by four robo-guards. Skud is downed, and then Rowan is as well. Lahni is the only one standing.


  • This is "The Wrongest We Ever Got It 2"

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Jennifer - 2
    • Tim - 10
    • Bachmann - 12
    • Nika - 14