Episode 329 - Welcome to the Temple of Uthgar

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Lahni Caplain, running down the Ferrim Pecunia robot, with Toby Treacletart in tow.
"If you wanna be in our bone club, you gotta say 'ass'." ~ Chopper


Episode 329 - Welcome to the Temple of Uthgar

Let’s take a quick trip to the past to find out about the history of one of our heroes. Not much is known about Skud but maybe we can shed some light on our friendly Bonemancer.

Thanks to Josh for guesting!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Many years before the events of the current episodes, the Monastery of Uthgar was teeming with life. Three young children ran about, playing. Chopper was the leader of the pack. She was a young dwarf, with short red hair, and a stubbly beard. With her was a silver dragonborn named Tater Tot, and a wildhunt shifter named Vespertillian, or Vesper. One day, the three of them were brought into the office of The Old Master (the same Old Master who's reanimated corpse would later be fought by The Tower of Grey). The Old Master regarded these three as the Monastery's "star pupils", and asked of them a favor: the school would be acquiring a new student soon, one Skud Derringer, and could they please make sure that he was taken care of? The motley crew agreed.

Skud, at this time, was young, a mere six years old. He met the others nervously, as he did everything nervously, that Skud. Chopper wasted no time in informing Skud of a special card game they all played, called "Bones". All that's known at this time is that each card is a different monster character, made out of bones, and some are more valuable than others. Also, they can be arranged in sets, and a set is more powerful than a collection of random cards. The sets are structured after bone set-ups in the body, such as the Skull set (the most powerful one). They were only available to buy from an orange-haired witch that lived on the outskirts of town. Also, Skylar, anther student at the monastery, was kind of a bully about the whole thing. She would steal people's cards, either by beating them the normal way, or actually just beating them up. For the rest of that day, Skud and his new friends did their chores: Skud cleaning out the Blood-and-Vomit room, Vesper cleaning the tops of things while hanging from the ceiling, and Chopper making food for everyone (PBnJ's).

The next day they had off, and so they went out into town to find the witch. Along the way, they stopped to try to steal a pogo stick for some reason, which Tater Tot was able to do after Vesper threw a bone at someone to distract them. Anyway, they eventually made it to Connell, the witch. She worked/lived in Connell's Witches Hut, where she made the cards herself. The packs of cards were one pack of 15 cards for a silver, so Skud bought two. Then, Tater Tot and Vesper gave each of their silvers to Skud and Chopper, for some reason, so presumably, he used those, too, to buy more. The important thing is that, in his pack, he found a femur, which Chopper wanted. He agreed to trade for an entire pelvis set.

Several years pass. A now 11-year-old Skud was informed by Connell that Master Alder, Bone Card Champion of Unova, was in town, and offering a free card pack to anyone who challenged him. Skud and co. went to the arena, where they met Alder, a cordial man wearing all black robes. With him were three companions, dressed head to foot in black. During Skud's fight with Alder, Vesper sensed that they did not breath, and had no heartbeat. After Skud lost (of course), Vesper asked about the companions, whereupon Alder discreetly revealed that they were not, in fact, alive, but animated skeletons! He gave Skud his pack, who discovered inside, the rarest card of all: a mandible.

A few days later, Skud returned to his room to discover that it had been ransacked, and his cards stolen. He didn't show up at dinner that night, leading his friends to go find him in the Blood-and-Vomit room. He had been attacked and choked out, but was still alive.


A young Skud was sent to the Monastery of Uthgar, where he met Chopper, Vesper, and Tater Tot. They told him about the card game, Bones, and Skud fell in hard. They took him to buy some from a witch named Connell, who, years later, told them that a great champion had arrived. Skud challenged, and lost to the champion, Master Alder, but was awarded the legendary card, a mandible. He was later attacked by an unknown figure and had his cards stolen.


  • At the monastery, once one reaches 18, you are required to party all the time. The children do all the chores
  • The monastery is at the top of a large mountain in Ssathra. At the foot of the mountain, is a small town
  • These characters are level 8
  • Connell is named/styled after Bridgit Connell, the artist for Drinks and Daggers, among other things
  • The Skull Set is the most powerful set of cards, and the mandible is the most rarest one
    • Also, it's canonical that Chopper needs a femur card and a mandible card
      • She has since achieved a femur card

Quest Log Updates

  • [NEW][Active] - Become the Greatest Bonemancer in all the world!
  • [NEW][Active] - Find Skud's missing Cards