Episode 336 - Skank Your Way Into a Volcano

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"They're kind of like the 'They Might Be Giants' of the Christian Ska world." ~ Tim Lanning

"I once kept an egg-salad sandwhich that I really wanted to eat for twelve years, and then I couldn't eat it anymore, so I think that maybe you should not save something for the perfect moment, because when is the moment current perfect, if not... now?" ~ Lahni's Sage Advice


Episode 336 - Skank Your Way Into a Volcano

We continue our search for facts and clues about this strange City of Brass. They have this odd, haunting horn filled music that we are all taking a shine too. Is this local dance a clue? The way they swings their elbows and kick their feet must be some sort of magical ritual. We must investigate more.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

  • Hardar Kainala
  • Some train conductor (Is it Michael? amiright!?!?!!? just kiddin)



Long Story

The last episode ended with Rowan and Hoby entering the mysterious tavern. Now, wee see that it is like a weird rave scene. It's sketchy, for sure. Rowan moves to the bar and orders drinks for herself and Hoby (milk). She looks around the room and notices a quiet, suspicious looking character sitting alone in the corner, so she takes a beer over to it. The two strike up friendly conversation, and Rowan asks the man if anything unusual is going on in this plane. There hasn't been. As conversation turns to the artifact, it becomes more and more clear (to Rowan and the audience), that it will most definitely be found in the Elite Forge, so all haste should be made to thereso being, hence. What? Anyway, the dude's name is Hardar Kainala, and not Lucis Incendis, as I and mostly everyone else suspected. He promises to be around should Rowan need him, so she bounces.

Meanwhile, Lahni and Skud stare off at the volcano in the distance, the one with the giant B on it, you know. Not knowing how to get there quickly, Skud contemplates using his Evolution Bone. After some wise advice from Lahni, he does so, smashing it into Akkio's head. It (she?) transforms into a giant, beefy Bone Golem! Skud names her "Akkiooooooo", and sends the other two skeletons onto it's shoulders. Akkiooooooo is now able to carry Skud and Lahni (and Toby 3 is also there. He wants to be called Trey now). As they run toward the volcano, a burst of lava shoots from the ground, forcing them to stop and recover. It will take hours to get there at this rate, so Lahni has the idea to pull Akkiooooooo, while Trey casts Haste on her, and the other two skeletons become skates on Akkiooooooo's feet. They're going super fast, now! But only for one minute. Then, Lahni falls asleep. That's when they decide to just take the nearby train that I guess there is there.

Now, they're at the base of the mountain. But how to get up there quickly? Lahni could run and pull the rest with her, or Trey could teleport, or Akkiooooooo could climb up with the rest on her back--- Nope, they just walk and eventually get there. Phew. At the top, they can see inside, where a pool of lava rests. Getting into the volcano is no issue, since there's a walkway down into it. So they do that. There's a bridge across the lava leading to a door, so our heroes begin to cross. Things seem to be going well! No set-backs, no horrific monsters... Until, of course, those things do happen. A fountain of lava bursts from the pool of same. It forms into a kind of monster-like shape, looks in our hero's direction, and attacks!


Rowan meets with Hardar Kainala, who tells her that the object she's looking for can be found in the Elite Forge. Meanwhile, Skud uses his Evolution Bone to turn Akkio into Akkiooooooo, and he, Lahni, and Toby 3 (now called Trey) spend a long time getting to, and into, the volcano base of the Ballista Twins. There, they are attacked by a lava monster.


  • Two beers cost 14 Electrum pieces in this bar
  • Two episodes ago (Episode 334 - Welcome to the Elemental Plane of Fire) was Rowan's 100th episode!
  • Hoby is immune to poison
    • This mean he can't get drunk
  • The Elite Forge seems to have the power to grant any wish. It is unknown if this is to be taken literally, or as more of a "it has a lot of treasures and powerful items in it" kind of way. Time will tell

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 2
    • Bachmann - 5
    • Jennfier - 12
    • Nika - 4