Episode 341 - The Ballista Twins

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Becky and Bert Ballista
"Fuckin', ass piss! I rolled really bad..." ~ Jennifer Cheek, 2019


Episode 341 - The Ballista Twins

Ok, time for a horrific battle with the Ballista Twins. We must all put our heads together to ensure that Skud is successful on dealing with these powerful foes. And maybe bone battle a little bit too but I am not sure what that even is…

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

So, here it is. The Ballista Twins stand (nude?) in the center of a bubbling pool in front of their home. Challenging our heroes to a fight. A Bone fight.

There's a loooooooong discussion about how best to proceed, seeing as how Skud doesn't have any cards. There are several ideas passed around, such as making Lahni and Rowan Polymorphing into the creatures that he would use to fight, and also Rowan casting Summon Woodland Beings to make pixies, and Skud's Summon Lesser Demons. Ultimately, it lands on Toby creating the illusion of Skud sending out his bone monsters, and in the confusion, Skud sends a Chromatic Orb right at their stupid faces. Also, Lahni blasts forward and steals the card in question, leaving them free to go ham on these mofos. Rowan gets unreasonably enraged at Bert Ballista, and utterly destroys him with a barrage of arrows, and Lahni runs forward and unleashes a barrage of fists on Becky, just obliterating her. To death.

After these murders, our "heroes" want to raid the mansion. Luckily, some retconning goes down, so Becky and Bert were not killed, but instead, go blasting off again. So it all turned out okay in the end.


The gang fights the Ballista Twins and destroy them. Figuratively speaking. They just go blasting off. But they get the card they needed, so yay!


  • The Ballista Twins are wearing bathing suits

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 19
    • Bachmann - 14
    • Nika - 8
    • Jennifer - 5