Four Raccoons! Why? Who's to say.
"Oh-dear-a!" ~ herper...
"Listen, Adira, we're all fiends here. Can we just talk this over?" ~ Thom the Dragonborn
Maybe family reunions are not supposed to go this way. Maybe, just maybe, there shouldn’t be this strange ringing in your ears and your heart shouldn’t feel like it is in some sort of old, rickety elevator. I am sure we can trust Adira Harper, even though she is surrounded by actual devils. And yes, she is wearing what appears to be a some sort of costume with the adjective “sexy” at the beginning but these are small red flags. We have seen worse. Actually, I think some of us have seen this exact place before?
Cast and Player Characters
All right, so... in the last episode, Harper gave Ros and Bucky this weird, firework-esque powder, to explode when things go bad. Well, my friends, I'm here to tell you that things are, quite certainly, bad, and goddam if that firework-esque powder doesn't go right the hell up right the hell now. Harper genuflects and expresses his thankful-ness at seeing Adira again, but she responds with "Hail Satan." She apparently is of the mind that Baron von Du is the only one who can restore order to the world. He does notice that she is missing a finger. She claims that the Baron has a plan for them. He came here directly from Stygia, one of the nine hells. She claims that they all want the same thing: to close the portal, ending the Demon Apocalypse.
Adira offers Harper and the others an opportunity to listen to them, and they can decide for themselves what they want to do. Bucky and Ros and Slaad the Slaad enter on the cart. Harper and Adira hug. She reveals that she cut off her own finger in order to trick them into coming here. Harper and Adira bond over their respective dark pasts. There are many introductions made, and then Adira invites them inside. As soon as they enter, Aludra and Thom recognize this place as Shadowspar Keep! She brings them into the room with a table full of stuff on it, but instead of stuff, there is now food on it. A serving wench enters and offers food. The group has:
- Jaela: Nothing
- Harper: A classic "dragon snoot"
- Thom: Demon's Bile
- Aludra: Dwarven Ale
The wench, whose name is Steph, weirdly, offers to get Jaela some water, anyway, and she'll just leave it on the table in front of her. She doesn't have to drink it. They decide to test the food to see if it's poisoned, Harper just takes a sip. Thom still feels weird in the stomach for some reason. So does Aludra. Jaela gives her an antitoxin. She feels a little better. Adira turns to Harper and offers the army in New Stigia to their fight with Fennekin. She estimates that all of civilization would be wiped out in one month if the portal is not closed. She says that they must work together, even says that once the portal is closed, Harper and his friends can confront Adira and her minions, but they must stop Fennekin. She offers one stipulation: the army of a thousand troops can't be sent with them unless... the Army of Bahamut is dealt with first...
She says that if they take out the leader of the Army, Gruemar the Silver, then the rest of them will disband. She says that he can be found in what used to be New Newfoundland Land. (It has since been conquered, and its people subjugated.) They need to discuss their plans, so she offers them to stay the night, and hey! They even have these nice five slabs for them to sleep on... They go do that. She points out the room that they never bothered to look in before, and warns them not to go in there. Slaad the Slaad comes in and gives a gift to Thom and Aludra. They are small knited booties. He says that they are traditional to give them to those with an "impending family." He says that he didn't make some for Harper and Jaela because they are not pregnant, and that "he can tell" that the other two are. Thom asks how far along they are, to which Slaad says "Oh, I'd say any minute now." They ask if they are Slaad babies, which Slaad confirms. When asks how they possibly could have gotten pregnant, he says "Well, you failed your saving throw."
Both Thom and Aludra start to feel really bad. Harper thinks back to when he read about Slaadi, and remembers that Slaadi have to ability to plant a parasite in other creatures when they claw them. These parasites grow into tadpoles, which burst violently from the host, killing them. Thom and Aludra decide to demonstrate by having a Slaad tadpole burst violently out of each of their chests, killing them.
The gang has just met up with Adira, who seems dark now. She invites them into New Stigia, which some of the party recognizes as Shadowspar Keep. They have dinner and as they go to bed, Slaad the Slaad tells them that Aludra and Thom are pregnant with Slaad babies. As they are panicking about what to do next, the tadpoles inside them burst violently out of their chests, killing them!
- It seems like there should be something to say about the fact that they are back at Shadowspar Keep, but they kind of go over all that in the episode. I guess I'll just say that its really cool.
- -1 Aludra from the party
- -1 Thom from the party
Quest Log Updates
- Jennifer - 11
- Nika - 15
- Tim - 3
- Bachmann - 19
- Jaela rolls an Insight to see if Adira is being truthful - 16
- She doesn't think she is being sneaky or anything
- Thom rolls an Insight check to see if he might be pregnant - 10
- He doesn't think he can be pregnant
- Harper rolls Nature to see if he knows how Slaadi give birth - 21
- He thinks he can remember that some Slaadi will plant a parasite inside you, which grows into a Slaad tadpole (Slaadpole), and bursts out of their chests