Episode 186 - New Models

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Harper and his fractured mind

"Alright, baby. If you think you can fucking do this... let's tango! I eat poop and I like it!" ~ Titus Harper

"We can all agree that being murdered by Jett is the worst way to go." ~ Tim Lanning

Contents

Episode 186 - New Models

Welcome to the roast of Tim Lanning! Jarper, Blarper, and Harpet stand between the party and Longcryer's tower. And they won't go down without saying as many Tim Lanning-isms as possible.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

  • Bucky
  • Longcryer's Apprentices
    • Blarper
    • Harpet
    • Jarper
  • Ros

Pets

Locations

  • Outside Longcryer's Tower

Story

Three sorcerers, Jarper, Blarper, and Harpet fly a few few above the ground and slowly advance on the party. They tell Harper that they're Longcryer's best apprentices. It's clear there's no talking their way through this, so they fight. The three sorcerers are put up a fight but all die horrible deaths. They are able to put in hard hits of their own, including Chain Lighting which manages to also hit Bucky and put him in the throws of death. After the battle is over, Jaela uses Lay on Hands to heal him. Through the smoke from the battle, they begin to see the outline of the tower, and when they grab hold of the keys found on the bodies, a magical red outline of a door becomes clear to them. Harper charges on in and the rest follow, however as soon as Harper steps inside, he falls to his knees, grabs his head, and then passes out.

Trivia

  • Mike Bachmann kept on trying to find ways to get Jett to be able to turn into mist, since he could already change into a liquid.
  • Bucky should have gained 1.5 levels, taking him to level 3

Inventory Updates

  • +3 key-shaped amulets

Quest Log Updates

  • [LEVEL UP] - Bucky is/should be level 3
  • [Active] - Longcryer!
  • [Active] - Curse of the Raven Queen
  • [Active] - Investigate merchant deals in Glaine, the Jewel of the East, and the Crescent Moon Coins
  • [Active] [Sidequest] - Deliver a very small bag of coins to Wilma in Glaine, the Jewel of the East
  • [Active] [Jaela] [Sidequest] - Deliver a letter to Reginald Thornberry
  • [Active] - What are birds?
  • [Active] - Who are the masked assassins?
  • Save the shrinking high elf city of Galanthus

Rolls

  • Recap
    • Nika - 17
    • Bachmann - 13
    • Tim - 4
    • Jennifer - 3

  • Jett - Stealth Check to sneak out of sight of the Harper wannabes
    • 18+4 - Slips behind a tree while they're all flipping their hair and adjusting their clothes

  • Jett - Performance Check to pretend to be Longcryer and demand to be let through
    • 7+13&4+13 (with Disadvantage - Oh shit! How did you get out here! That's not Longcryer. Oh the chains! They burn!

Combat Begins


  • Initiative vs Jarper, Harpet, and third on
    • Harper - 22
    • Jett - 20
    • Aludra - 17
    • Jaela - 6

Round 1


  • Harper vs Jarper and Harpet
    • Disintegratex2 (using Sorcery points) requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs 18 Spell Save DC.
      • Jarper - (?) - Succeeds - 10d6 - 72 damage (force)
      • Harpet - (?) - Fails - Miss
        • I'll show both of you jabronis who the real disciple of Longcryer is, the guy I will never turn against or kill!


  • Aludra vs Jarper and Harpet
    • Crackle (at 2nd level) requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs 16 Spell Save DC
      • Jarper - (?) - Succeeds - 4d6 - 14 damage (lightning)
      • Harpet - (?) - Succeeds - 4d6 - 14 damage (lightning)
        • Jarper goes, "Ouch! My head!" and falls unconscious.

  • Harpet vs Aludra, Jaela, Jett, & Bucky
    • Chain Lightning requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs 17 Spell Save DC (Everyone gets a +3 from Jaela)
      • Jett - 23 - 22 damage (lightning)
      • Jaela - 22 - 22 damage (lightning)
      • Aludra - 16 - 45 damage (lightning)
      • Bucky - (?) - Bucky falls to the ground, with smoking coming off of him.

  • Jaela vs Harpet
    • Uses winged boots and named as oath
    • Melee Attack - 23 and 26 (with Advantage for each)
      • 40 damage and 17 damage

  • Blarper vs Party
    • Fire Storm requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs
      • Aludra - Nat20 - 20 damage (fire)
      • Jett - 26 - 20 damage (fire)
      • Jaela - 23 - 20 damage (fire)
      • Harper - 9 - 40 damage (fire)
        • Between the smoke and shimmery nature of the heat, the party can make out the outline of Longcryer's Tower
    • Concentration Roll
      • (?) - Fails and falls from the sky and takes damage, but he's still dancing

Round 2


  • Harper vs Harpet and Blarper
    • Lightning Bolt requiring a Dex Saving Throw vs 18 Spell Save DC
      • Harpet - Succeeds - 9d6 - 39 damage (lighting)
      • Blarper (with Disadvantage) - Succeeds - 9d6 - 39 damage (lighting)
        • He looks into Harpets beautiful face. Her eyes starts liquifying and she melt and crumbles to the ground.

  • Jett vs Blarper
    • Dissonant Whispers (at 4th level) requiring a Wis Saving Throw vs a 17 Spell Save DC
      • (?) - Succeeds - 6d6 - 22 damage (psychic)'
        • He does the worm away from Jett while screaming.
    • Crossbow Expert Feat - 19
      • Hits - 7 damage - Blarper puts on some sunglasses, looks at nothing, and dies with a crossbow bolt in his ass.

Combat Ends