Episode 276 - Becoming the Greatest in All the Lands

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"I'm smart now, so the way I roleplay it is by quoting percentages." ~ Tim Lanning

Contents

Episode 276 - Becoming the Greatest in All the Land

Hello and welcome into our home. Our home is an actual play Dungeons & Dragons podcast. Cozy, huh?! Listen as we level up to level 17 and prepare our next adventure. Our fun and weird Orb is itching to bring us to a new plane where I gotta assume nothing bad will happen. We are going to literal heaven. Pelor runs a tight ship so I am confident we will be fine. But can our heroes survive the most stressful encounter yet – Performance Reviews.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

Locations

Story

Long Story

In the home of Old Ben Dilladong, The Tower of Grey discusses their new level 17 abilities. Toby is now super intelligent, and has a streak of white in his hair, much like ol' Rogue. Frank, deciding he hadn't been the worst in a while, decides to hold the companies first annual performance review, something he had been suggesting for a while, but was denied by Rowan, due to being in "Mortal Danger" or whatever. He starts with Lahni, asking her what way she recently failed the company. She answers that it was that one time she let Nook Nimmlock die, instead of saving him. Skud denies going next, so Toby goes, much to his chagrin. Frank asks what are his greatest weaknesses in regards to the budget. Toby answers that he spends a lot on his laboratory, but that the things that come from that are very important. Frank asks about the tanks he keeps buying, which Toby answers that it's plants. (In actuality, Toby is growing clones of each member of the Tower of Grey, for the eventuality of their deaths.) Next up is Rowan. He asks her where she sees herself in the next five years, and the next 500 years. She answers that, in five years, she's in a castle where there are many cool parties that people love to go to. In 500 years, same thing. Frank circles back around to Skud, of whom he asks if Rowan or Toby have ever said or done anything inappropriate in the workplace. Skud brings up that time they made him get high off of Silverweed Oil.

Rowan stands and asks the various employees what they like the most about working there. She seems a little hurt that people don't immediately answer. Toby acts all weird about his secret cloning thing. He says that his favorite things are that they don't ask questions and he can do what he wants. Also, that he was able to cut off their fingers no questions asked. Lahni says that she is really glad to know these people, that they are now her good friends. Frank responds that he feels as if the others really respect him and values his opinions. Lahni tells a story about her father wearing used handkerchiefs as an outfit, prompting everyone to tell stories about their families. Toby talks about a time his parents got into a fight in their candy factory, then made love all day. Skud decides to come clean with why he is traveling with them all. He says that he's always loved skeletons, but his father wanted him to be a cleric, so he sent him to the Monastery of Uthgar to study Clerical duties. While he was there, he would practice his skeletoncy in secret, until one day, when bandits raided the Monastery, and slaughtered the monks. Skud was unable to stop them, but he was saved by a robed necromancer, with a skeleton made of iron. He chased the bandits away, and Skud asked how he himself could be as powerful as the man. The necromancer smiled and tossed him a small coin with a skeleton on it. From that day forward, Skud vowed to travel the world and learn everything that there was to know about bones and be the most powerful bone master the world has ever seen.

Rowan asks them if they feel that they have the resources they need to do their jobs here at the Tower of Grey. Lahni wants more egg salad sandwiches. Also time for Ferret Wine. Rowan wants to spend more time doing fun stuff, like bowling. Skud wants skeleton polish. Frank (gidily) asks what their least favorite thing about performance reviews are (as if).

Short

Performance Review

Trivia

  • The party is now level 17!
    • Proficiency bonuses are now 6 for all those who aren't multiclassing, Bachmann
    • Rowan gains the spell Wrath of Nature
    • Lahni has Intoxicated Frenzy
    • Toby's Intelligence Score now is 23!
      • He also has a level Nine spell that he is saving for later
  • Bachmann's Wizard Class is level 14 now
    • He can now Command Undead
  • Frank received a gift from Melora as well, but he doesn't reveal what it is
  • Rowan does (or claims she does) all the BD (Business Development) and Marketing for The Tower of Grey
  • Rowan implies that Tower of Grey funds are going toward Silverweed Oil
  • Skud's room as an infant was sea-foam colored. In the Monastery, it was stone. This is important
  • Rowan is CEO of the Tower of Grey
  • Skud's skele-bros are technically interns

Quest Log Updates

Rolls

  • Lahni rolls Insight to see if Frank is being sincere about who has the highest Life Insurance Policy - 23
    • He is lying, Frank himself has the highest LIP

  • Rowan does a Perception (?) check on Toby's lies - 11
    • It seems true