Episode 342 - Sweeties Day

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A Home Alone'd Toby Treacletart
"Lahni, Lahni, Lahni... It's just a kid. What more could he possibly do..." ~ Skud

Contents

Episode 342 - Sweeties Day

Any accidental references of beloved holiday movies found within this episode are a matter of pure coincidence and should be taken with the joy they are presented.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

Locations

Story

Long Story

In the last episode, the party ret-conned the fact that they killed The Ballista Twins, instead claiming that they just "blasted off again". Day saved, hurray, etc. THEN, in this episode, they decided to deliberately not check the Wiki, so they forgot that. So, now, the Twins are dead again. In addition, the group discusses the morality of their murders, despite the fact that THEY WERE NOT MURDERED. In any event, Dodge Grabbit arrives somehow and thanks them for defeating them. Lahni tries to give him the card they killed the Twins for, only to discover that it's only the sleeve! The real card must be inside the mansion somewhere! However, it won't be as easy as just sneaking in to find it...

Dodge Grabbit tells them a couple of things. One is that the Ballista Twins' home is occupied by their House Imp, a devilish and mischievous creature who will try to stop them from entering. The other is that the reason he is going to stop them is because today of all days, is Sweeties Day, a magical annual holiday that (Dodge suspects) is just a cover up for the strange plane-ar alignments of the magical blah blah blah, who cares? Point is, they can't use certain types of magic today. And also, they can't spill blood on Sweeties Day. But what about the Ballista Twins, you ask? Surely this will spark the memory for them that they never killed the Ballista... Never mind, that apparently happened one minute before midnight, which it is now after. So now, it's Sweeties Day. Fine.

To start things off, Lahni and Eckhart Dayhammer attempt to take the steps leading up to the front door of the house, only to discover that IT'S A TRAP! The steps are slick with some kind of Nickelodeon Gak, which causes them to slip backwards down the stairs, and through the ground, which is also A TRAP! They continue to fall down, into a dilapidated basement, dusty and unused. Luckily for them, there's a ladder leading out of the basement! Unluckily for them, the ladder, IS A TRAP! It's rigged to fall backwards onto a spinning bandsaw, but Lahni and Eckhart are able to dodge out of the way. The others lower a rope down to hoist them out.

Toby manages to shuffle his way up the stairs, and uses the rope to pull the others up safely. While he, Rowan, Eckhart, Hoby, and presumably Dodge Grabbit all take the front door, Skud and Lahni decide to head around the side of the building and take the first floor window to the west. We'll check back with them in a minute. The Front Door Gang (FDG, babyyyyy!) is up first, and it starts with Toby knocking on the door, but safely, with a Mage Hand. Unfortunately, the Mage Hand couldn't save Toby from A TRAP! becuase a small barrel of some kind of weapon emerges and shoots the poor gnome right in his treacletarts. It's at this point that I'd like to remind everyone that canons don't exist in this world, nor do any gunpowder based weapons of any kind. So, it's some kind of magic. Anyway, as Toby writhes on the floor cartoonishly, Rowan uses a Wind Wall to blow open the door. This gives them the opportunity to glimpse a small, blonde-haired gnome running up the stairs.

Meanwhile, Skud and Lahni find the side window locked shut. Luckily for them, Lahni can phase through walls using her Boots of Phasing. Unluckily for them, she can't phase on Sweetie's Day, and also the window IS A TRAP! After crashing through it (headfirst of course), she keeps crashing through, even doing so to the floor! And she's back in the basement, just on the other side of some rubble from before. Skud, not seeing her fall through the floor, calls after her, and steps through the broken window. The Genasi, in turn, tumbles through the floor and lands on Lahni with a campy "Ooof!" And possibly some "Doooohhh!"s.

And also, in addition to, as well as, The Front Door Gang make their way into the house, whereupon they see the following: There are two stairways on either side of the room, leading up to the second floor. Oil trickles down each set of stairs, indicating DOUBLE TRAPS! A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling, filled with strange black crystals, undoubtedly a HANGING TRAP! To the East and West are doors, as well as a set of double doors leading to the North. And, there are two stone statues of what appear to be salamanders adorning the Southeast, and Southwest corners, respectively. Who knows what TRAPS! await them in those statues... You can say: West, East, North, Southeast, Southwest, StairsEast, or StairsWest.

At this point, Lahni crashes through the window (see Paragraph 5), which the gang hears. This is, of course, off in the West direction (Paragraph 4), so they decide to go that way, investigating it, and making sure as hell they don't pass underneath the TRAP! chandelier. Inside the door, they find a sitting room, nice and cozy, with the walls covered in art. There's another statue of the Ballista Twins, as well as many comfy chairs and cozy couches. Tempting as it is, the group manages to avoid these obvious TRAPS! and instead peek over the side of the, oh yeah i forgot to mention it, giant hole in the floor, where they see Lahni and Skud. Instead of getting help, perhaps using that rope from before, they elect to stay down here, and investigate. There is a rope ladder that leads out of the basement, but Lahni is suspicious of it, perhaps fearing A TRAP!

The Front Door Gang (a name I really like, actually) leaves their friends behind and heads back through the foyer, and through the door to the East. This room is the study, and the walls are lined with shelves of books. Be pretty weird if they were lined with anything else. Well, video games, I guess. But this is a fantasy world, so probably not. Although, didn't Skud have a Nintendo Gamecube controller as his holy symbol? (He totally did) Weird. Anyway, it's just books. There's also two tables, several comfortable-looking chairs, and a window to the south, which Rowan notices is OF COURSE A TRAP! Toby remembers that the Ballista Twins stole the rule book for the Bone Card game, and he looks for it now. He finds it, but yanks it off the shelf without first inspecting for TRAPS! Of course, the tome is A TRAP! and the little gnome is first buried in book, then bookshelf, groaning cartoonishly, like some kind of Irish burglar.

Short

Dodge Grabbit meets the group and thanks them for defeating the Ballista Twins, but the card he needs is inside the mansion, and it's being guarded by their house imp, who will fend them off. All this because today is a holiday called Sweeties Day. The group splits up and begins attempting to infiltrate the home, though the imp is making it quite difficult indeed. There are many TRAPS throughout the house, and the party is none too keen on getting hurt by them. Except Skud, that is. He's all for it.

Trivia

  • Eckhart Dayhammer is also around in this episode
    • He is racist against Efreeti
  • Dodge tells them the story of Sweeties Day: an Elf, a Dwarf, a Human, and a Halfling all appeared from the Prime Material Plane to break in to the Efreeti homes and steal their sweeties. So, the Efreeti need to fight them off using a series of traps, and if they are successful, they are awarded with sweeties. Unfortunately for them, however, there are never any actual intruders. Until today, that is...
    • The intruders' names are Scrampus, Crumbus, and French Stewart French, and Stewart
  • When Gnomes get hit in the balls, their voices go deeper
  • The Imp's name is Kevimp McBallister
    • That name came from the Twitch chat

Quest Log Updates

  • [On-Hold] - Stop Tiamat!
  • [Active] - Destroy The Orb!
    • [Active] - Find the first missing piece
      • [Active] - Gain access to the Elite Forge
        • [Active] - Defeat the Master of the Air Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat the Master of the Earth Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat Lucis Incendis, the Master of the Fire Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat the Master of the Water Plane
          • [NEW][Active] - Retrieve Dodge Grabbit's Bone Card, from their house imp
    • [On-Hold] - Find the third missing piece
      • [On-Hold] - Investigate the final location
  • [On-Hold] - Find Adira Harper
  • [Backburner] - Find Lannie Caplain
  • [Active] - Find a way to pay back the Ferrim Pecunia bank of Pelor's Hope
  • [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Great Colosseum in Caer
  • [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Oracle's strange prophecies

Rolls

  • Recap
    • Tim - 7
    • Jennifer - 15
    • Nika - 6
    • Bachmann - 5