Episode 345 - Swamp Sass

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"It really just purples my nurple, every time I think of him... It's ridiculous how much he cheats at Bones. It's so FUCKIN' BULLSHIT! So, I'm willing to help you guys. Honestly, it's for the greater good." ~ Chase Endaljoy

Contents

Episode 345 - Swamp Sass

We got these empty cards burning a hole in our pockets so you know what that means – we gotta fill them with monsters!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters

Locations

Story

Long Story

Skud needs to collect three bone monsters for his card game, so the party decides to do the thing that's always a good idea: splitting up. Toby and Skud venture to Minaros (the third layer of Hell) to meet with Kate Aurochs, who will help them take down Rick the Beholder. They arrive in this dark and dank place, which friggin' sucks, where Kate lives in a wet cave. The dragon greets Toby hornily, then introduces them to Chase Endaljoy, and her slug boyfriend Arlio. She is a master of Bones, and is excited to help them. Kate tells them about Fort Swass, where the leader of Minaros, Mammon, lives. That is where they must go, as that is where they will be able to find Rick.

Chase can get them to Rick, knowing the city very well. They know him to be a compulsive gambler, and will most likely be involved in some back-room games that they might infiltrate. After Kate and Toby fuck again, and then once more with Chase involved, they head on their way. Skud and Arlio bond, while Toby gains a level of exhaustion from his... rendezvous. He also uses his Broom of Flying to avoid the muck. They make it to Fort Swass, where Kate gives them all bags of Soul Coins, which the city uses as gambling currency. Skud gets a "magic brain call" as Bachmann goes to check on Amelia, so Chase has fun making his body do weird things. I don't think I phrased that right. Finally, they arrive at Muck E. Trousers, a terrible tavern/gambling den where Rick is sure to be. Chase gets them past the bouncer, a big burly woman named Flappy Sally. Inside is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, and while they would like to just get to Rick and get out, they unfortunately have to stay and have a drink. Chase promises to show them the Rick Brick, before getting them into the back room...

Short

In this chaotic episode, Skud and Toby meet up with Kate Aurochs, who introduces them to Chase Endaljoy and her slug boyfriend Arlio. Together, the team heads to Fort Swass, into a tavern named Muck E. Trousers. That's basically it. Some other things: Toby and Kate fuck, then Toby and Kate an Chase fuck. Skud gets a magic brain message. Who from? Who knows!

Trivia

  • Chase has 214 HP and 3 Bones badges
  • Toby has 116 HP
  • Chase's cards are: Bone Goblin, Bone Kobold, and a Bone Spider that may or may not be a Bone Drider
  • Arlio's mucous has euphoric, drug-properties
  • There's a canonical series of fantasy novels in this world about Dagobah, written by a scribe named "J. R. R. Binks", each chapter of which takes an infamously long time to come out. The world is currently waiting on the fifth book in the series

Quest Log Updates

  • [On-Hold] - Stop Tiamat!
  • [Active] - Destroy The Orb!
    • [Active] - Find the first missing piece
      • [Active] - Gain access to the Elite Forge
        • [Active] - Defeat Fuckin Gary, Master of the Air Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat The Man of Sorrow, Master of the Earth Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat Lucis Incendis, Master of the Fire Plane
        • [Active] - Defeat The Maronnesse, Master of the Water Plane
          • [Active] - Capture six powerful creatures for Skud's Bone Game
            • [NEW][Active] - Defeat and capture Rick the Beholder
            • [NEW][Active] - Defeat and capture Pyre the Dragon
            • [NEW][Active] - Defeat and capture some third powerful creature
    • [On-Hold] - Find the third missing piece
      • [On-Hold] - Investigate the final location
  • [On-Hold] - Find Adira Harper
  • [Backburner] - Find Lannie Caplain
  • [Active] - Find a way to pay back the Ferrim Pecunia bank of Pelor's Hope
  • [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Great Colosseum in Caer
  • [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Oracle's strange prophecies

Rolls

  • Recap
    • Tim - 16
    • Bachmann - 3