Episode 353 - Croc Crunch

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Lahni drinking her ferret wine

"What can we do to get you to not think about this anymore?" ~ Michael
"Let me do it!" ~ Bachmann

"You notice something big, and long, and dark..." ~ Michael
"Oh, is my dental hygienist there?!?" ~ Bachmann


Episode 353 - Croc Crunch

We brave the horrors of our favorite dungeon type – a dooky filled sewer!

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Lahni (carrying Toby in a baby bjorn) runs back to the barrel that they stashed the Silga Darvo simulacrum in the last episode (it was previously an abandoned house, but that's fine). She/It needs to have a meeting with the probably-very-scary Browl Theckhammer, General of Pyre's Draconic Army, or else said General will launch an assault on the nearby town of New Newfoundland Land (it's a whole thing). So, as she is sent off to meet with the General (she's given a Sending Stone in case things go wrong), the Tower of Grey heads to the sewers, to sneak into the Spike.

As could be expected, the sewers are a foul and rank place. Each member of the Tower develops their own system of avoiding the nastiness below. Lahni runs above it, once again baby bjorning Toby. Rowan uses her dexterity to dance and skip around to the dry areas. Skud paddles upon a boat made of bones (Metal as all hell). Also, Footpad Boulderhill is there, but there's no mention of his status. He's probably neck deep in the shit. Anyway, Rowan sees a crocodile.

There is a brief, but intense fight. At first, the party is hesitant to wantonly lay waste to the beast, fearing it might be friendly, but as soon as it indicates that it wants to yum their yay, the smack down is put forth. Rowan shoots it with arrow, Lahni punches it with fist, and then... that's it. It is slain. Toby forces the coward Boulderhill to stab its corpse to feel powerful, and Rowan sneakily jerks its head as if he killed it. And it works, so, good job, I guess.

Finally, the party makes it through the sewers and traverses a series of tunnels which are, much to Skud's dismay, tiny and winding. Skud's been wanting to use some of his ranged spell attacks, but needs to be far away to do it, and was hoping that The Spike would be a suitable place to practice. Unfortunately, many years ago, Pyre did away with the open floor plan of The Spike, rendering it small and cramped. That guy sucks. After a while (crocodile), the party makes it to a grate, which, as Boulderhill tells them, leads them to a ladder, then a locked hatch, and finally, the dungeons. They just have to get through the sealed gate first.

Now, here's a weird moment in the Wiki. Some cool stuff happens, but then is retconned. I'll first say what the cast says they do first, but then what actually happens later, cool? Cool.

Lahni phases her way through the grate, and Toby uses Dimension Door to step through with Rowan. He then Misty Steps back through and grabs Skud, Dimension Dooring back again. Boulderhill stays behind. The first retcon happens when they remember the locked hatch at the top of the ladder, so Toby actually would have sent his Dimension Door through it, as well as the gate, surpassing both obstacles. The second retcon comes when Toby realizes that he, as a tiny little gnome boy, can't take anyone through the Dimension Door with him. So, he doesn't do that. Instead, Skud has Akkiooooooo break it open, successfully. Then, Lahni (again baby bjorning Toby), turns herself invisible and runs up the wall to phase through the hatch. She is successful, and Toby, at the last second, casts Dimension Door (for real this time) on himself to get through at the same time. Oh, but first he casts Invisibility on himself, Rowan, and Skud.

In the dungeons, they see a tail-less Dragonborn guard, cowardly giving report to who can only be Zelon, the Master of Punishment. He's tall, dirty looking, described as having "cracks filled with darkness." He looks mean and hella evil, and he says "What? She's here? Now!?!" and begins to storm off. Before he gets away, however, Toby decides to let his Gnomey self Gnome, and he casts Silent Image to make a fake door appear before Zelon (this causes Rowan and Skud down below to become visible). Zelon notices immediately, turns around, and sees Toby. He says, "What are you doing in my dungeon? Don't worry. I can make you tell me..."


Silga Darvo is retrieved from her hiding place and sent to meet with Browl Theckhammer. Then, the Tower of Grey heads through the sewer, fights a crocodile, and encounters a grate. This proves to be a greater challenge than the crocodile, until eventually, Akkiooooooo breaks it down. Toby and Lahni sneak into the dungeons, where they are caught by Zelon!



Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 9?
    • Nika - 6
    • Jennifer - 14
    • Bachmann - 11