Episode 355 - Turning the Enemy

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It's me! Old Man Weck!
"Who's gonna 'Sack of Potatoes' me into bed?" ~ Jennifer Cheek


Episode 355 - Turning the Enemy

Having captured the evil Master of Punishment Zelon your heroes have some tough decisions to make. Do they make nice with this truly awful man or do they do what they do best – use extreme violence to solve their problems.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters



Long Story

Within the dungeons of The Spike, the tallest tower in the city of Mastwick, a small Gnome named Toby Treacletart releases a bunch of prisoners. Among them are some Darkblades, five to be exact. Led by Stretch, the rest of them are Moss, Ace, Yawngi, and Barry. Another, less savory prisoner is the enigmatically named Corpsefucker Gary. Frankly, the less said about him, the better. They are all former prisoners of the now captured Zelon, the master of punishment and torture here are Mastwick. The party decides that they have a little bit of time to question Zelon before the simulacrum of Silga Darvo reaches the office of Browl Theckhammer for debriefing. It's Rowan who leads the interrogation. Both parties are conniving and sinister toward the other, making for a tug of war of viciousness. Ultimately, Rowan is able to sway Zelon by offering him Pyre himself to torture. Of course, Zelon believes this to be impossible, but is curious what they're plan is.

Meanwhile, Silga Darfaux makes it to the office, knocks on the door, and is let inside by the guards. The office is described as "Hunter Chic", due to all the animal heads and pelts about. There are also maps, tons of them, and a detailed model of the city of Mastwick in the middle. It's riddled with little pieces representing troops and forces. But worst of all is Theckhammer, General of the army of Pyre. He super wants to burn down New Newfoundland Land, but Darfaux convinces him that it's under the protection of Deephome, or Pelor's Hope, perhaps even Norhall. While Theckhammer doesn't want to be seen as weak, and isn't concerned with this, Darfaux claims that they have only gotten by by not provoking some of the other, bigger cities. They don't want the forces of Deephome or whoever brought down on them, do they? No, they do not. She's ALSO able to convince him that the common people should be well fed, so as to more efficiently work, and be motivated. Otherwise they will be miserable, and also dead. And that's the end of the meeting.

Back in the dungeons, Toby asks Zelon to tell him about Silga Darvo, and Lahni notices a bracelet he's wearing that matching Darvo's. The two are either besties, or in love. Good for them. Toby hatches a plot to fill someone with sleepy-time poison and feed this person to Pyre, which will make him sleepy. Everyone, especially Rowan, is super excited for this plan. But how to make Pyre eat someone? Well, as Zelon tells us, it's Zelon himself that chooses who is to be eaten, so it'd have to go through him. He also, very helpfully, tells them that they might find the ingredients they need to make a poison such as that in the laboratory of one Celtra Wimblepuck, on the top of the Spike. And, if they need to break into someplace, the Darkblades there can help them...


Having defeated Zelon, the gang puts him to the question. He agrees to help them if they can give him Pyre to torture. The plan is formed to fill a person with sleepy-time potion, and have Zelon tell Pyre to eat them, and he'll be put to sleep. The potion ingredients can be found in Celtra Wimblepuck's lab, and the Darkblades can help break them into it. Also, the Silga Darvo clone meets with Browl Theckhammer, and convinces him not to attack New Newfoundland Land.


  • Michael's cat once passed a full Q-tip once. If I have to know it, you have to know it
  • Stretch is a fighter just like Lahni, and wants to fight her, but in a friendly way
  • There's a council meeting tomorrow night
  • Mastwick is, apparently, the City of Vertices
  • Barry, the Darkblade, is the best at lockpicking


Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Nika - Nat20 - Bapped - chooses Tim
    • Bachmann - 2
    • Jennifer - 11
    • Tim - 10