For a group of zany adventurers we are extremely afraid of dungeons. It is a little embarrassing how slowly we go through this dang thing… but in our defense, you can get eaten by a monster at any MOMENT! DANGER IS AROUND EVERY CORNER. I think. Also, this dungeon is really weird. I know you agreed, by downloading this podcast, that you would be taking advantage of the full 100% of you seat, but if I was a betting man, I would wager that you would need only the edge!
Cast and Player Characters
Thom coifs Harper’s hair into a faux hawk that fades into a flock of seagulls before they open the door and step into the chamber. The adventurers discover a stone slab tomb in the center of the room and a battle-axe embedded in the wall—its haft casts a shadow that looks like a withered claw. Harper can sense magic wafting off of the tomb and the axe.
In a rare instance, Aludra dungeoneers, but true to form, Jennifer rolls poorly and turns up nothing.
Bachmann teaches us that 14 + 9 = 28 or possibly 27, and he drops the most amazing idea for a fanfic/comic book: Bloody Cop: The Adventures of Thom & Blood Drinker
Also, TimTim does what may be the first unpaid Mtn Dew ad for GeeklyInc in this episode.
Aludra attempts to pull the battle-axe from the wall using the vines from her Thorn Strike spell. It doesn’t budge…but she wakes what slumbers within the tomb. A humanoid corpse pushes the stone slab cover off of the burial chamber and rises. It’s wearing a jade mask with shells for eyes; its armor is made of jade, bronze, and bones.
Blood Drinker hisses, “You guys are fuuuuuuuuuuucked.”
The creature transmutes into a cloud of bats that flutters over to the battle-axe before changing back into its human form. It wrenches the weapon from the wall with ease and so the battle begins. Once they injure the creature, it becomes invisible, but it pops back into view behind Aludra and bites her neck to drink her blood. Yep, it’s a vampire.
Eventually, Thom kills it, and the group briefly discusses whether the vampire is now considered double dead. They loot the body, but once Thom learns that the vampire’s armor doesn’t have any special abilities, he pees on it. Harper takes the jade mask, as well as the armor dripping with musky dragonborn urine, and places them inside Aludra’s bag of holding.
Thom picks up the battle-axe; it is the Axe of Tloques. It is a magical item that teleports to the wielder’s hand…whether they want it to or not. In fact, the curse on this battle-axe prevents the wielder from using any other weapon. Every time Thom tries to throw the axe away, it appears in his belt. The dragonborn intimidates their prisoner, Debra, to take the battle-axe from him, but it continues to return to Thom. This causes a strain on Thom and Blood Drinker’s relationship.
Quest Log Updates
- [On-hold] - Remove the Brain Bombs from the players' heads
- [On-hold] - Return the Brazier to Fennekin
- [On-hold] - Rescue Harper's family from Fennekin
- [Active] - Investigate Temple of Ghostly Evil