Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain

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Lahnik Caplain
(Nika Howard)
Lahni Caplain.jpg
Alias(es): Lahni
Race: Wood Elf1
Class: Monk
Status: Alive
Cause of Death:
Affiliations: The Tower of Grey
Appearances: First Episode: Episode 253 - Tower of Grey
Last Episode: ongoing
MISC Info: She didn't age2

From Arkensaw

Ferret Wine!

She's The Flash!

Standard Movement is 60 ft!8

Inspired by Florida Man10

Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain was a monk who sought out The Tower of Grey in their tower in Greenham. She agreed to join them and help them out on various missions in return for them finding her brother, Lannie. She wasn't particularly intelligent, but what she lacked in smarts, she made up for in speed.


Appearance and Personality

Lahni was about 5'5", had dirty-blonde hair, with some rough dyes in it. She was thin, with slightly toned muscles, wore a crop top, either with a high neck, or across the chest (depending on the time of day), loose, baggy pants, cinched at the ankles, and foot and arm wraps. She had a dead ferret wrapped around her waist like a fanny pack, which, unfortunately, contained a seemingly unlimited supply of Elven Wine, which she calls Ferret Wine. It's also possible that it contains a full bar10.

Lahni was fiercely loyal, and a a great companion to her friends. She didn't ask for much, and was really just happy to help. She wasn't overly burdened with intelligence, but she was very wise, and new when she didn't know something. She also wasn't afraid to get into a tussle when the situation called for it. Using her monk ways, particularly Flurry of Blows, she often found herself doing the most amount of damage during an encounter.


Early Life

Not much is known about Lahni's childhood. At the time she met the Tower of Grey, she had a missing brother named Lannie, and several other dead siblings: Lohni, Lehni, Lihni, Lohnei, Linguini, and Lahna. They were killed during an argument with a rival family, the Coymacs, over whether cake was better than pie or not. She was from Arkensaw, where they hosted a baking contest, and Lahni's family submitted a possum cake, with no possom in it (racoons), which the Coymac family poisoned. Lahni was fine, because she doesn't need to eat1.

The Tower of Grey

She met with the Tower of Grey to ask for their help in finding her brother, Lannie, who was not dead1. They agreed, on the condition that she accompany them, and join the Tower, as an intern. Her payment would be egg salad sandwiches3. After joining, Toby Treacletart cut off her finger, with her consent, and used it to begin creating a clone of her. He also healed her finger4. They met Skud Derringer, who also joined the party. They fought Skud's Old Master, who was a reanimated corpse, but surprisingly fast. This was where Lahni revealed her incredible speed. She exchanged Flurries of Blows with the undead monk ad nauseum, her fist a blur of punchy fist-ness. It was awesomecitation not needed.

After defeating the Old Master, the group found The Orb, and Pyre attacked! The others gave the Orb to Lahni, as she was the fastest of them, and made a fake version of the Orb to fool Pyre with, though this doesn't work. Lahni peaced out with the Orb, narrowly avoiding his flame breath6. They all met up on their airship, the Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, where they began to discuss where to find Lannie. Lahni felt that they should go to the west, as their "peepaw" would always tell them to go there, but they were interrupted by the news that Prince Thom Harper had gone missing, and that they needed to find him. Lahni's Lannie problem was put on hold while they traveled to The Feywild to find the prince. While there, they were immediately attacked by spiders, and Lahni saved Toby and Skud from falling into their web7.

They were saved by Old Ben Dilladong, who's cudgel doubled as a bong. Upon learning this, Lahni immediately took a hit of his Silverweed Oil9. They made it to the lake, across which was the Castle of the Spring Court, which they needed to get to. They were attacked by a tentacled mass, which pulled their new friend, Nook Nimmlock, deep underwater. He presumably drowned11.

While attempting to access the Castle, Skud turned Lahni into a large Sea Raven, and Toby turned her invisible, so she could carry them all across the ocean to the castle. Once at the Castle, they met their arch-nemeses, The High Level Executive-Class Drow Supreme Fighting Force. Blue Berter challenged them to a Speed contest, which Lahni proudly volunteered for. The test was long and grueling12, and all hope seemed lost, but Lahni's sheer determination, as well as her ungodly speed pushed her ahead, and she defeated the lightning drow, finally, by throwing some of her Ferret Wine on the ground, tripping him. They become friends after this13. Finally, the party made it to the main room in the Castle, where they found Melora, Queen of Spring, trapped within the Jade Pyramid. This whole time, Lahni had to the Orb, and she brought it out, touching the two artifacts together. When she did this, they became linked, and the force trapping Melora was disbanded, freeing her. As thanks, the goddess granted each of them a gift; Lahni's gift is a special bag of beans, it's function is to this day unknown. Lahni asked about her brother, but Melora only responded "When Lannie is ready to be found, you will find him"14.

During their fight with Thirst, Skud and Lahni switched bodies, and it was very funny15.

Climbing the Tower

Lahni with a moss creature

During the Tower of Grey's first annual performance review, Lahni revealed that her greatest regret was letting Nook die, instead of saving him. She also revealed that her father wore used handkerchiefs as clothes for some reason16.

At one point, in Elysium, Lahni caught a rat-sized horse, and put it in her Ferret bag, but not before it bit her17.

Still in Elysium, the party was tasked with finding out who killed Tilly and Donnybrooke, two guards. They met the killers inside Modean 7, a local tavern, and Lahni volunteered to go find Sal, the Street Meat Vendor, so that Sal could distract the killers and lure them away from the public eye. It was a wierd plan. While she was going to get him, she saw that the Orc Army of Gruumsh One-Eye was breaking through the walls. She went back, with Sal, and told her friends18.

Lahni helped Skud find a Monster Fight Club in Gritty's Tavern, before she and the rest of the Tower headed to the Shadowfell to find Adira Harper, and the missing god Pelor19. There, she was interrogated in Grull, revealing how fast she was, and not pleading guilty to their phantom crimes20.