Episode 307 - Breaking the Bank

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Toby asks many questions of Ioun

"I like my tea like I like me: not straight and full of vodka!" ~ Nika Howard, 2019

"He's jus the head of A-counting. I'd be impressed if he was the head of all the counting." ~ Skud Derringer


Episode 307 - Breaking the Bank

Frank is pretty sure that this Iron Bank isn’t bad, but we have our doubts. Naturally, we want to be sure that we don’t make a very powerful enemy without cause so we gotta do our research. After brunch, that is.

Cast and Player Characters

Non-Player Characters




Long Story

The Tower of Grey are transported back to Pelor's Hope, and discuss their next move. Obviously, they need to eat, and they all remenisce about Sal, the Street Meat Vendor who died in Glaine and then met them in Elysium. With that option out of the way, they decide to go to brunch to feast on delicious scotch and cockatrice eggs. Frank is hesitant to spend money on food (food is a luxary they can't afford), but accepts Lahni's suggestion of taking half of her egg salad sandwich, thus saving them one meal costs. Unfortunately, the small accountant can't handle the spicy mustard. Frank sucks.

Toby makes a toast to themselves, and their ability to survive pretty much anything. Frank superceeds this moment to posit that his boss, Oseary Drakoolus, could clear up any confusion they have about the nature of Ferrim Pecunia. The others agree with this plan, but want to have the meeting later. Today, Toby wants to read the book he got from Ioun telling him how to turn Toby 2 into a real boy, and Rowan wants to go on a bar crawl. Frank himself wants to go over his books, so as to be presentable to his boss. Because Frank sucks.

Toby heads to the White Spire, where he has an office nook. Apparently he has one in every White Spire, because he has that kind of clout. He begins flipping through Ioun's book. What he learns is not good news. It is possible to bring Toby 2 to life, but to do so, he must take a life from somewhere else. This won't necessarily result in that person's death, but their essence, their energy, will be transferred to Toby 2, and their own energy will be greatly reduced. He can use his own essence do surrect Toby 2, but it will require him, at minimum, to lower his own Constitution. If he want's Toby 2 to be truly alive - to learn and grow and thrive as an individual - he would have to greatly and permanantly reduce his own Intelligence. Specifically, 2 Constitution and 2 Intelligence would be lost. Frank sucks.

Toby 2 enters the room. Toby 1 greets him. He explains the situation. Grabs his hand. He asks if Toby 2 is ready to become a real boy. And Toby 2 is. The ultimate sacrifice is made...

Meanwhile, Rowan takes Lahni and Skud to The Rattling Skeleton, which Skud is very happy about. The mugs are made from skulls! Rowan gets a little tipsy and asks Skud what it is that he truly wants. And Skud responds that he wants love, and to be loved in return. Specifically, by his bone skeletons! Interesting. Just then, the Evolution Bone begins vibrating in his pocket.

The next morning, Rowan is hung over, though Skud and Lahni seem alright. Toby is also in a bad way, and he introduces Toby 2 to the others. Toby 2 meets them all for the first time, since he can retain memories now! It's all very sentimental. After he leaves, Frank turns to the plot at hand, telling them that they need to meet with Oseary Drakoolus, so they head out. Along the way, the Tower (away from Frank's accounting ears) start to come up with a plan, but then they don't.

Finally, they get to the bank. It is large and imposing, it has marble columns and a large staircase leading up to the front doors. They enter. Frank goes off to fetch Oseary Drakoolus, but returns almost immediately, dejected. It appears Mr. Drakoolus is not here at the moment. He says that they should wait outside his office, but the others all claim to have to go to the bathroom, and scoot. Lahni learns that the walls of the bank are two and a half feet thicc, but the door to Oseary's office is only four inches.

They need to get Frank away from the door, so they convince him to go to the bathroom, placing a rat Arlington (in rat form) by the door so he'll know when Oseary shows up. Once the accountant is gone, Lahni runs into the office, and takes a sharp intake of breath...


In Pelor's Hope, the Tower of Grey have brunch and talk about meeting Oseary Drakoolus, Frank's accounting boss, at Ferrim Pecunia. That night, while Skud, Lahni, and Rowan all drink at a bar, Toby spends two Charisma points and two Intelligence points to turn his simulacrum, Toby 2, into a real, living, thinking individual. It's pretty emotional. The next morning, everyone heads out to the bank, and as they are waiting for Frank's boss, Lahni runs into his office, gasping at what she finds...


  • The food in Glaine, the Jewel of the East is much bolder and spicier than that in Pelor's Hope
  • Snatch Treacletart has been sent back to Glaine, and is on his way there now
  • Eckhart Dayhammer is trying to find some way to replace his arm
  • Lahni requests that Skud make her one of his skeleton minions if she dies, which Skud was planning to do anyway. Dark!
  • Toby's hair used to be all red with a streak of white, but now it is all white with a streak of red. Meanwhile, Toby 2's hair is the opposite: all red with a streak of white
  • There's something about Lahni's wall phase ability working on anything that is two feet thick or thinner. But last time, I think it was only one foot. Did I miss something?

Quest Log Updates


  • Recap
    • Tim - 10
    • Jennifer - Nat20 - Bapped
    • Nika - 13
    • Bachmann - 14