As I climb the tallest peak of Icewind Dale I know that the message burning my heart like the breath of a dragon is worth the searing pain. “Surely I can withstand all that the evil races of Faerûn can throw at me knowing that I will be bringing such a sweet message to the masses.” I cried out.
I was in luck- I found one of those Ricola horns that would amplify my voice from Luskan to Mirabar. I drew my breath as one would draw a greatsword and cried “The Legend of Drizzt: The Collected Stories is Free on Audible for the next 40 days! Go download it! Ice-T narrates a story. This should be enough information. Ice-T!” I completed my divine quest knowing that I made many peoples’ lives better.
“Lots of talented folks narrated this collection of stories, but you know that Ice-T one is special” I said to a passing Ice Giant. “Sure, Tom Felton’s narrated story is great too, but I thought Ice-T would be fitting, being in Icewind Dale and all.” I was pleased with my little joke. Unfortunately, I only had time to be pleased with my wordplay for a moment for I heard the giant’s roar and saw the swinging club coming for my person. “It was all worth it.” I thought in my final moments.
(thanks @CommonSensical and @beardedpiscator for tipping us off!)
hell fucking yes.