Guess who’s back, back again.
This recap obviously contains spoilers from Season 6 Episode 2.
After a whole season without him, we are finally reunited with Bran, Meera, and Hodor. Bran has been warging with the Three-eyed Raven and seeing different visions throughout time. This time, Bran and the Three-eyed Raven are in Winterfell, watching Ned practice sword fighting with Benjen (I’m guessing the dude with the badass muttonchops was young Rodrik Cassel). They also see Bran’s aunt, Lyanna, riding in on a horse. Bran goes to get a better look at his family and sees Hodor, whose real name is Willis. Hodor has giant’s blood and can also talk! Before the Stark kids can get Hodor fighting, old Nan comes and takes Hodor away. Maybe we will find out what happened to Hodor one of these days. After seeing this much, the Three-Eyed Raven takes Bran back to their cave even though Bran wants to stay and watch his family some more. Bran complains that the Three-Eyed Raven finally showed him something he cared about but didn’t let him spend as much time as he wanted, which makes me wonder what else the Three-Eyed Raven has shown Bran. Bran is sad to have left early because was finally home after so long. The Three-Eyed Raven tells Bran “it is beautiful under the sea but if you stay too long, you will drown” – Bran doesn’t belong in the world they visited, so he can’t stay there even if he was happy seeing his family.
Bran tells Hodor that he saw him as a boy and asks him what happened, to which Hodor replies, “Hodor.” Meera is by herself outside of the cave. She seems to still be mourning her brother Jojen’s death. Bran tries to tell Meera about Hodor/Willis but she’s not interested. When Bran reminds Meera about the war coming, Meera brusquely asks him if they’re going to fight the war from inside the cave. After Bran is carried back in the cave by Hodor, one of the Children of the Forest tells Meera that Bran needs her because he isn’t going to stay in this cave forever and when they’re out there, he will need her.
At the Wall, it is time for the men inside the room with dead Jon to open the door or fight the men of the Night’s Watch and they decide to fight. Davos grabs Longclaw and they prepare themselves while the Night’s Watch starts busting down the door. Right when they have busted a hole in the door, there is commotion at the front gates of Castle Black. Something huge is trying to break in through the front gate – its WUN WUN and the wildlings, recruited by Edd. The Night’s Watch initially starts to fight them but quickly realize that they are outnumbered. One brother still shoots an arrow at Wun Wun and is smashed into the wall. Seeing this, they lay down their arms but Alliser and Olly aren’t giving up yet – they try to charge but are quickly subdued. I was hoping Olly would die here but he didn’t. Alliser calls Edd a traitor and says that the Night’s Watch has helped Castle Black against the wildlings for a thousand years, and Tormund comes back with “until you.” Oh shit. Call 911 for that sick burn! Tormund goes to see his buddy’s body and comments on the many stab wounds Jon endured.
A drunk in Flea Bottom is entertaining a crowd with his story about showing his nether region to Cersei during her atonement walk and how she appreciated what he had to offer. When the dude goes off to relieve himself, FrankenGregor walks up and straight bashes his head into the wall with one push. Gangsta ass shit. FrankenGregor goes back to the Red Keep and Cersei sees the blood on his armor – he is doing what Qyburn promised FrankenGregor would do. Cersei attempts to leave the Red Keep to attend Myrcella’s funeral but Tommen has ordered her to stay in the Red Keep. The Kingsguard seem pretty scared of FrankenGregor, and I would be too – he seems ready to cut all the men down but Cersei complies and goes back to her room, with FrankenGregor following behind her, like a terrifying, huge monster puppy.
At the Sept, Tommen and Jaime are chatting beside Myrcella’s body. We find out that they don’t know who killed Trystane, so it means his ship must have still been in King’s Landing – did the Sand Snakes sail all that way to kill Trystane? Tommen thinks Cersei did it – or at least he knows that she’s capable of it. Tommen didn’t let Cersei come to the Sept because he was afraid they would put her in a cell again. He also hasn’t been to see her since she’s been back because, as a king, he failed to protect his mother and his wife and he is ashamed. The High Sparrow enters the Sept, and when Tommen asks to see Margaery, the High Sparrow says no can do. Jaime advises Tommen to go see Cersei and he turns to tackle the High Sparrow. When the High Sparrow says what happened with Cersei was atonement for his sins, Jaime asks him about his sins and atonement, listing off his sins including killing his king, his cousin, and helping Tyrion escape. When Jaime seemingly threatens the High Sparrow, he tells Jaime to go ahead and kill him, which takes Jaime aback. Then, the Faith’s Militant start filing into the room with their weapons, and even though they probably wouldn’t be able to save him, the High Sparrow reminds Jaime that they are poor, powerless people who have no names or families but together, they can overthrow an empire. He then drops the mic and scoots out.
Tommen goes to see Cersei and apologize for his behavior. Cersei tells him it’s alright but Tommen turns dark and says he should’ve killed them all and torn down the Sept before he let them do what they did to Cersei – she would’ve done that for him. Tommen wants to be strong and wants her help – Cersei looks so sad/proud of him in that moment.
Tyrion has to pay attention to his audience before he makes his “no cock” jokes. There is also bad news on bad news – no one is saying who burned the ships, Astapor and Yunkai have been taken over by the Masters again, all of Slaver’s Bay – outside of Meereen – has returned to the slavers, and the dragons have stopped eating. Tyrion knows that dragons don’t do well in captivity; because of captivity, the last dragons in Westeros were no bigger than cats. He has a theory – since dragons are intelligent, they will know he is a friend and will let him take the shackles off of them. So he and Varys go down to the dungeons where the dragons are kept. The dragons don’t look tok happy to see him but he tells them that he is a friend of Dany’s. He also tells them that as a child, all he ever wanted was a dragon but was told that dragons were all dead, which made him super sad. He takes the shackle off of the first one and the second one offers him its neck, so he removes that shackle also. After that, he hurries out of there, telling Varys to punch him the next time he has a “brilliant” idea like this.
Arya is still a blind beggar and the Waif is still beating up on her. Arya tells her that she is no one but the Waif doesn’t believe her. Arya tries very hard to get the Waif but her stick is stopped by Jaqen, who gives her the choice of sleeping under a roof, having food, or even having her eyes back, if she just tells him her name. She turns it all down. She’s a little hesitant about her eyes, but she repeats that she has no name to all three propositions. Jaqen tells her to follow him and, when she goes to grab her begging bowl, he tells her to leave it because she is not a beggar anymore.
The Boltons know that Sansa and Theon got away once again, obviously with help from someone. They theorize that Sansa is headed to the Wall and Ramsay proposes attacking Castle Black on the Southern side and killing Jon Snow (he already dead, bro). Roose reminds Ramsay that attacking the Night’s Watch means uniting all the Northern Houses against them. However, Ramsay reminds Roose that they have the support of the big houses of the North, including the Umbers, Manderlays, and Karstarks, so they don’t need every house in the North to keep the North. Harald Karstark is totally down for Ramsay’s plan but Roose reminds Ramsay that if you act like a mad dog, people will put you down like a mad dog. Right at that second, the Bolton Maester comes in with news of Roose’s new baby boy’s birth. Ramsay is not happy but he goes up to hug and congratulate his father anyway, who tells Ramsay that he will always be his first born. Ramsay says that means a lot to him and then straight stabs Roose, letting him bleed out. If you foster a mad dog, Roose, it will eventually turn on you. Ramsay orders the Maester to send out news saying Roose was poisoned by him enemies. Harald is also down for what just happened.
Ramsay sends for Walda and her baby to be brought to meet him out in the courtyard. When they do, he takes them to the kennel saying he’s taking them to see Lord Bolton. He locks the doors behind them and opens the kennel doors. Walda promises to go back to the Riverlands and not make trouble. She pleads to him saying the child is his brother, which is the wrong thing to say to Ramsay. He tells her that he’s Lord Bolton and that he’s more of an only child. Then he sets the dogs on them, which was horrific. I cannot wait until this dude is dead.
Sansa, Theon, Pod, and Brienne are still in the forest. Brienne is filling Sansa in on her encounter with the Hound and Arya. She asks Sansa what happened at Winterfell and she understands without Sansa actually having to say anything. Sansa expresses regret in not going with Brienne when she had the chance but Brienne understands that it was a difficult choice. Theon is still waiting for Bolton men to hunt them down but he is equally afraid of making it to Castle Black because he is afraid to face Jon after all the wrongs he has done to the Stark family. He doesn’t want to take the Black because he doesn’t want to be forgiven for his crimes. He is leaving them to go home to the Iron Islands.
Things are not going well in Pyke. They’ve lost their hold on Deepwood Motte and also lost a lot of men. Yara/Asha is not happy about how her dad is handling things because the Greyjoys can win any battle at sea but on land is a different matter but Balon doesn’t seem to get it or chooses not to care. He is also mad that she went on a mission to rescue Theon, which didn’t end well. He walks off after telling her to obey or he will make another heir. It’s super stormy out and they have rope/wood bridges between the towers. He is trying to cross when he finds his path blocked by a hooded figure – his brother Euron, who supposedly lost his mind during a storm while out at sea. Euron tells Balon to step down and let someone new rule, and when Balon attacks Euron with a knife, Euron pushes him off the bridge and down to his death. After Balon’s funeral, Yara/Asha promises to find who killed her father and swears it by the Salt Throne but the Drowned Priest reminds her that the King’s Moot picks who rules the Iron Islands and she has not yet been chosen.
Davos visits Melisandre, to ask her about any magic she knows that could bring Jon back from the dead. She remembers meeting a priest who did bring a man back from the dead but she does not possess that power. She has lost her faith but Davos tells her to fuck the Gods – he knows the shit she can do and he’s asking her for help and not R’hllor. Remember though, Thoros of Myr keeps bringing back Beric Dondarrion, even though he has lost faith in R’hllor, so maybe there’s more to this magic than faith in the Lord of Light. Melisandre decides to give it a go at the urging of Davos – she washes the dirt and blood off of Jon, who has a small piece of cloth covering his twig and berries (come on, I thought this was HBO. If it was a girl, I bet everything would’ve been on display. Smh.) She cuts and throws bits of his hair and beard into the fire, washes his hair with water, and puts her hand on his torso, which has a lot of stab marks. As Edd, Tormund, and Davos watch on, she recites a spell multiple times but nothing happens. Helplessly, she whispers “please” but still nothing happens. Tormund walks out, followed by Melisandre, Edd, and then Davos, who closes the door. Ghost, who is sleeping on the floor beside the table where Jon’s body is laid out, wakes up, whining softly. Jon is still dead on the table but then he wakes up, gasping for air. JON SNOW IS BACK AND HE’S READY TO GET ROWDY. IS HE CHANGED? IF SO, HOW??
Next week: Oathbreaker